Ask Pastor Kevin Response
Teenagers are flocking to Netflick’s new original series 13 Reasons Why, based on the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and adapted by Brian Yorkey for Netflix. Parents, please do the necessary research and make a wise choice related to your teenagers or young adults watching this series. I have started the research for you below and encourage you to take the necessary time to think through this issue, make a list of issues that are pertinent related to both the show itself and the show’s content, and then discuss the show with your teenagers – regardless of whether or not you watch it with them.
1. The Storyline. With some digressions from the original plot of the book, the series follows a teenager named Clay Jensen (Dylan Minnette) who receives a series of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford), a classmate who recently committed suicide. On each of the 13 tapes, she explains to her peers how they each played a role in her death, detailing the 13 reasons she took her own life. The story follows how each of the 13 players engage the tapes and react to each other as the tapes spread. Selena Gomez is the executive producer. Here is a brief synopsis of each of the episodes.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JebwYGn5Z3E]
2. The Rating. Netflix has rated the show TV-MA meaning it is not suitable for children under 17. If you peruse the internet, you’ll find that others are suggesting it may be appropriate for those over age 15 since that is the age of the teenagers in the show. I have had parents contact me where their middle school children are excited to watch the show. The show earned its rating TV-MA with the graphic scene of Hanna committing suicide and bleeding out in the bathtub, multiple rapes, nudity, underage drinking, bullying, stalking, drugs, violence, and very strong language.
3. The Benefits of Watching. This may be a series that you can use as a stimulus to talk with an older teenager regarding life issues. Issues like suicide, bullying, cyber-bulling, sex, rape, drugs, guilt, shame, and others are real. Teenagers and young adults do face these issues in their culture. After watching the episodes first as a parent, you may choose to watch the episodes with your teenagers together and discuss the sensitive issues they portray. I strongly urge you to watch all the episodes first before beginning the series with your teenager so that you can make the best wisdom choice regarding your teenager.
4. The Warnings of Watching. Parents, be on alert in regard to this show. This is a graphic show. Some parents and reviewers have described this show as a how-to guide on committing suicide. Cultural issues relevant to the episodes include suicide, rape, bullying of various sorts, drugs, underage drinking, stalking, betrayal, grief, revenge, lies, blame-shifting, fat shaming, strong language, violence, and other areas of abuse as well. Mental health officials in Australia have strongly urged parents to not let their teenagers watch this. There is concern with copycatting the suicide.
5. Wisdom is needed. You may want to consider several areas of wisdom before you allow your teenager to watch this show. It is imperative that you think through your young adults level of maturity. This link is to a recent blog on how to help your child respond to pop culture in the media. This may be helpful for you to think through as you decide what is best for your teenager. As I stated at the beginning of this blog, take the necessary time to think through this show, make a list of issues that are pertinent related to both the show itself and the show’s content, and then discuss the show with your teenagers – regardless of whether or not you watch it with them. The best choice may be a series of quality conversations with your teenager rather than seeing it depicted on screen.
Resource Links for Various Reviews from the Internet
13 Reasons Why by Common Sense Media
Why I’m Not Letting My Teen Watch 13 Reasons Why On Netflix Alone
’13 Reasons Why’ is Netflix’s newest must-see series
DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS WATCH 13 REASONS WHY
Does ’13 Reasons Why’ Do More Harm Than Good On Teen Suicide?
Information parents should know about Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why
’13 Reasons Why’ Review: Netflix Brings a Brutally Adult Edge to A Tale of Teen Suicide
7 Things You Need to Know Before Your Teen Watches 13 Reasons Why
“The show earned its rating TV-MA with the graphic scene of Hanna committing suicide and bleeding out in the bathtub, multiple rapes, nudity, underage drinking, bullying, stalking, drugs, violence, and very strong language.”
You, uh, seriously think parents should consider this show for their teens?
You’re not carefully reading what I wrote if you think that my goal is for any teenager to watch this show.
This was all the rave last night in my MAC class: Child and Adolescent Therapy. The thought was that somehow teenagers would benefit from understanding the thinking of someone that actually went though with suicide. If we are not careful we can almost idolize the person who has had mentally deranged thinking and give them credence because they actually went through with it. I think a better goal than to understand how suicidal people think, would be to understand how to show them a better perspective. I have had someone suicidal contact me in the last 48 hours, so I write this comment with a fresh view.
My prayers for you as you seek to minister to this individual.
Hello Pastor Kevin,
I wanted to reach out to thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. As a pastor myself (and parent of a middle schooler), the popularity of this book/series has been a major concern.
One of my other roles is as Features Editor for ChurchLeaders.com. Would you grant us permission to share this article on ChurchLeaders.com? I believe this is an important and timely post not only for youth & families pastors, but anyone who is involved in church leadership. We would, of course, cite you as the author and include your bio/photo at the end of the article.
Please let me know what you think. Thanks again!
Grace+peace,
Daniel So
Features Editor, ChurchLeaders.com
Of course, that would be fine. Thanks for asking.
Much appreciated! We will be sharing this one soon, since it’s a very timely topic. Thanks again!
You are welcome to use anything on the blog. I’m glad it seemed helpful. Happy to contribute in other ways and places too. Blessings in Christ