The Mediterranean Sea at Joppa
Q: How am I supposed to forgive if I still remember the offense? Is it possible to forgive because there is no way I will ever forget what this person did?
A: It is possible to forgive even though you remember. In fact, that is exactly how you are to forgive.
I love this question. Not because it is easy or that someone is struggling, but because this is a common struggle. This is a person’s reasoning behind this question: “I know I am supposed to forgive this person. However if this person ever thinks that I can just forgive and forget, that is impossible. There is no way I can just forgive and forget. There is no way I can ever forget what was done to me. And if that is the standard, then I just can’t forgive. It is impossible to forget and is also impossible to forgive.”
The Standard of Forgiveness
The gold standard verses for forgiveness are Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13.
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you“ (Eph 4:32).
“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col 3:13).
The standard for forgiveness is God’s forgiveness. As Christ-followers, we forgive as we have been forgiven. So we have to ask: How does God forgive sin? Does God wait until He forgets our sin before we receive forgiveness?
God Forgives Because of Jesus
God does not forgive because we deserve it or earn it. His forgiveness also does not depend upon our never failing again in the future. In fact, He forgives even though He knows we will sin again – that’s part of the marvel and significance of grace. God forgives because He accepts Jesus’ payment of sins on our behalf. No matter how heinous our sin or sins, Christ’s blood is greater.
Peter explained it this way: “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit” (1 Pet 3:18). This forgiveness of course is only by grace. Paul wrote, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace” (Eph 1:7). Paul continued later in the same letter, “And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma” (Eph 5:1-2).
Why can we have forgiveness through Christ? Because God was satisfied with the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ to pay for our sins. God accepted Christ’s sacrifice which was a sweet-smelling aroma to Him. In other words, the death of Christ satisfied the righteous anger of God. Jesus Christ became the ultimate, once-and-for-all sacrifice on the cross for our sins when He died on the cross (Heb 9:22).
Christ chose to die in order to pay for our sins and provide forgiveness (Heb 12:2). Paul furthermore exhorts us to forgive in similar ways as Christ. When we forgive others, like Christ, it satisfies God as well.
God Chooses to Forget
God knows everything, referred to as His omniscience. He knew every sin before any of us ever committed them (Ps 139:1-18, esp. Ps 139:16). Because He can’t “not” know, He does remember ever sin we have committed.
Yet the Bible teaches that God chooses to forget. Consider the following verses:
“For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more” (Jer 31:34).
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins” (Isa 43:25).
“Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Heb 10:14-25).
From these passages it is clear that God chooses not to remember our sins. How does this work? God, who knows everything, chooses to not remember some things, namely our sins. Essentially God chooses to not dwell on our forgiven sins, here known as “remember.” He determines to not focus on them, not hold them against us, or keep a going record of them. Our sins are not out of His memory; instead, He chooses not to “remember” them. Why? Because God places those sins on Christ and places the righteousness of Christ on us (2 Cor 5:21). In this way, God forgives us – even in spite of knowing our sins; He chooses not to remember them.
Enjoy these two incredible passages that help describe what God does with our sins when we are forgiven:
“Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 6:18-19).
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).
Two great illustrations – basically teaching the exact same thing!
He has cast all our sins into the depths of the sea – here a reference to the Mediterranean Sea. They are deep and, by His choice, can’t be found again.
He removed our transgressions and placed them on Christ. They are so far removed that no matter how far we travel east or travel west, we would never meet up with the opposite. They are that far removed from us!
Friends, these are encouraging words to each of us. God does not remember our sins! How fantastic this is for you and me! Plus, there are incredible implications for our forgiveness of others.
Implications
Forgiveness is not passive; forgiveness is active. When we choose to forgive someone, we do not make a passive choice; instead, we make an active one. The goal is to choose not to remember. When tempted by our memories, the consequences, the struggles, the fears, or the lingering hurts of the past sin, we choose to focus our mind on Christ and the grace we have received through Him. This is only possible as the Spirit enables us through grace to actively choose to forgive.
Forgiveness is not an emotion; forgiveness is a choice on the basis of the work of Christ. The offender does not deserve our forgiveness any more than we deserved the forgiveness of Christ. Yet, Christ – for the joy that was set before Him – endured the cross and the shame in order to provide forgiveness of our sins. Likewise, we choose to forgive – for the joy that is set before us – to honor Christ with how we deal with the sin against us. We do not wait for an emotion to forgive; instead we choose to forgive as Christ in spite of our emotions.
Forgiveness is not forgetting; forgiveness is choosing to not remember. Remembering promises complicating stress, additional fear, inevitable bitterness, and added guilt. On the contrary, when we choose to not remember, we leave ourselves in a strong position. We place ourselves at the mercy of God to provide us the strength to persevere, the power to live out our promise of forgiveness, and the ability to do what best honors Him.
Summary:
In our relationships, with the example of God’s forgiveness toward us in Christ, we can choose to forgive. We choose to forget those offenses – even though we still have memories of them. We choose to not focus on the offense, not dwell on the hurt, and not live in the past. Instead, because of God’s forgiveness provided through Jesus Christ on the cross, we choose instead to remember Jesus, to depend on the grace we receive through Him, and to press toward living consistent with our promise to forgive others. We don’t forget the sin. We do treat the sinner though as God in Christ who forgives us. In gratitude for what we have received through Christ, we treat others the same way.
Pastor Kevin’s Blog | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey