God is a good teacher. In certain seasons of life God provides us multiple opportunities to both learn and practice lessons. Consider Peter and Jesus. Jesus told Peter to build the church. However, there were multiple lessons for Peter to learn in order to do what God wanted him to do and do it well. He learned lessons the night of Jesus’ trial, was taken to school by God about the changing plan of God, and Paul had to help him learn too. Peter. An apostle. The one who started a church. God had an incredible plan for him. Yet, Peter still had so much to learn and practice.
The same is true for us as well. God has a unique plan for each one of us. Yet, there are places where He still wants us to grow and change. In seasons of life, God often will use multiple events, multiple conversations, multiple circumstances to help teach the same lesson. Recently, God has reminded me of the same lesson over and over.
What is it? You guessed it (based on the title of the blog), “How do I think about or handle a particular person?”
Let me share with you my recent lesson: When struggling to handle a particular person, look to Jesus and consider how He handles that same person. Simple, right?
What is your situation?
Do you have someone who you have had a really hard time forgiving?
Do you have someone who you have struggled finding the motivation to reconcile?
Do you have someone who has been unkind to you?
Do you have someone who has been unthoughtful?
Do you have someone who has cheated you?
Do you have someone who lied to you?
Do you have someone who has made your life difficult or the lives of those you love?
Do you have someone who has neglected you?
Do you have someone who has gossiped about you?
Now all those questions relate to specific sins against you that force you to act godly. But what about those things where we only assume?
Do you have someone who you believe does not like you?
Do you have someone who you believe is working against you?
Do you have someone who you believe was unthoughtful, unkind, unfriendly, or unbecoming toward you?
Do you have someone who you believe … you could finish this sentence with almost anything. We all are there at times. Sometimes we know what someone has done to us and, at other times, we convince ourselves that we know even if we don’t.
But regardless of what you know and through whom you know it, we must still be responsible with what we either know or think we know.
How are we to respond?
Look to Jesus…
This is just the first step but it is a necessary first step.
When someone has done something to us or we think they have done something to us or we just generally are struggling to handle a particular person in a godly way – for any reason, then, look to Jesus.
Why?
Because Jesus’ response to people is instructive to us. We are to be like Christ (Rom 8:29). He serves as our example in every way. This is one of the of ways that He serves us.
Depending upon the various factors in the midst of any particular situation, Jesus responds perfectly (of course) and selflessly (again, of course) and humbly (yes, that too) and always perfectly doing what God would have Him do (John 15).
But what about you and me?
Well, I may have any number of things motivate me to respond to this person in ways that are less than perfect, selfless, humble, and consistent with what God the Father wants.
“But you don’t understand this other person!”
I have no idea your circumstance and do not pretend to know it. But that is why I am right beside you learning this same lesson. I don’t know your circumstance or your other person or your heart, but I do know my heart and sometimes the things that trip me up.
And when I hear of, think of, or see the other person with whom I am struggling, that is when I need to look to Jesus.
First, what did Jesus do?
Jesus chose to love and die for this other person which whom I struggle. This person no doubt, like myself and all people, sins. This person struggles. This person has many faults. In the Bible it says that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23). Plus, when we were still sinners – haters of Jesus and all things righteous, Christ still died for us (Rom 5:8). When this person calls on the name of the Lord, this person gets saved, forgiven, and is reconciled to God through Christ (Eph 2:14-18; 2 Cor 5:18-21). Jesus then continues to love this person, never leaves this person, and suffers alongside this person as they strive to be more like Him (Matt 28:18-20). This person is now part of the redeemed, spiritually washed and sanctified (1 Cor 6:11).
Second, what would Jesus do?
Now the harder question. What would Jesus do if He were in my shoes?
I think this is the lesson that God has been trying to teach me through my own personal circumstances, talking with others, and my reading. Such a good question to contemplate. I’m challenged to respond to other people like Jesus would.
So should I be grumpy? assume motives? gossip? fail to forgive? treat them differently than what I would want to be treated? see them differently than Jesus? treat them differently than Jesus? think about them differently than Jesus? love them differently than Jesus?
No, no, a thousand times no.
Even when my thoughts say yes…the answer is no.
Even when my emotions say yes…the answer is no.
Even when my experiences say yes…the answer is no.
Even when my heart says yes…the answer is no.
So I have to tell myself a thousand times plus more that the answer is no. I must treat this other person just the way Jesus would. And, the way I would want them to treat me.
That’s my lesson. I’m trying to learn it. I’m in progress. Possibly you are as well when it comes to this lesson. If that’s the case, let’s strive toward this one together – becoming like Christ in the way we handle the difficult people in our lives. We’ll be glad for it as we learn to honor God more faithfully and love others more consistently.
Pastor Kevin’s Blog | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey