Yesterday we discussed how quickly we live life and how complex it is. “In the fast lane, each believer is faced with many choices each day… Herein lies the problem: many believers are losing the daily battle…some are losing much more — reputation, ministry, family, and friends.” This is easy to see all over Christendom. Most everyone knows of at least one famous preacher that has lost his pastorate in the past year or so. What about all the other Christians you may know who have made incredibly unwise choices? Let me suggest three critical issues to keep in mind to help you go against the flow.
Humility
Humility means to focus on God and others, not self; it is a high view of God and an accurate assessment of self. Paul expected every believer to be humble. He wrote, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of gentleness; considering yourself, lest thou also be tempted…For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:1, 3). Humility is essentially thinking right about self, others, and God.
To better foster growth in humility, the believer should regularly remind himself of two important concepts. First, every person has the same challenge or purpose — to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Regardless of who the person is, every believer must bring God glory with his life. That is the goal.
Although there are many good things a person can dedicate his life to do, the purpose God established for each person is living to His glory, or being a God-honoring person in all he is and does. To remind yourself of this goal helps keep your mind focused on God and others primarily, and off of self. Life is not lived in relationship to what “I” want; rather, life is lived in an effort to continually honor, love, respect, and obey God.Life is not lived in relationship to what “I” want; rather, life is lived in an effort to continually honor, love, respect, and obey God. Share on X
The second important concept to foster humility is the reminder that all believers struggle together. Just as Paul warns, “considering youself, lest you also be tempted.” The ultimate in deception is to believe that the sin one person has is not a potential problem for you as well. Paul tells the believer to go about living life and serving others in the church with an awareness of personal vulnerability. The reality is that every believer is imminently entrappable. Just because someone else is caught today does not imply at any level that it will not be you tomorrow. It is not an issue of if you will ever be trapped by sin, but when. This is why Paul continues, “But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another” (Gal 6:4). If today you are honoring God, then rejoice in your heart and pursue ministry to others while recognizing you are equally susceptible to the trap and deception of sin.
Self-Counsel
Self-counsel is the daily invitation to heart searching, heart repentance, and heart renewal through God’s Word. It is the examination of your own heart (i.e., thoughts, motives, desires) and behavior through letting the penetrating light of God’s Word carefully examine every part of your life (Colossians 3:16). In an effort to help Timothy become God’s kind of man, Paul writes to him, “Take heed unto yourself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this you shall both save yourself, and those that hear you” (1 Timothy 4:16). Here Paul gives Timothy invaluable wisdom: it is easy to know doctrine and help others without applying what you know to your own heart first. Jesus said, “…first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then you shall see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:4).
Essentially, Paul tells Timothy that it is necessary to take heed to his heart first. The sad reality is that many people come to counseling and can tell me all about what the Bible says in relationship to the Trinity, salvation, and even sometimes dispensations; however, these same individuals have not applied what they have learned to their own personal decisions and attitudes. Paul here is encouraging Timothy to give himself wholly to exercising himself to godliness — to live it before teaching it, or ministering it, or sharing it. Save yourself first, then you will have many opportunities to share, encourage, impact, and save others.The sad reality is that many people can tell me all about what the Bible says in relationship to the Trinity, salvation, and even sometimes dispensations; however, these same individuals have not applied what they have learned to… Share on X
A great place to start is with the question, “What are three areas where God is not pleased in my life and desires to change me?” If you are not currently aware of what God desires to change in you, then you need to immediately consider this question. Regardless of an individual’s longevity as a saved person, every Christian has room to grow and change. After you identify where God wants to change you, another question you can ask is, “What am I doing about it?” This question helps identify what is currently happening either to help grow or perhaps to minimize the effort toward godliness.
The reason it is important to consider your heart first is because a person’s behavior and thoughts are always motivated by something in the inner man. Jesus said, “for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). Likewise he taught, “all these evil things come from within, and defile the man” (Mark 7:23). In other words, the heart is critical to functioning as a believer in a God-pleasing way. The heart wants, craves, desires, and wishes. Often, what the believer lives for in any particular moment or circumstance stands diametrically opposed to God and the Bible. Two good questions to help determine the level in which your heart desires a particular thing are: Do I want this so much I am willing to sin to get it? Do I want this so much that I am willing to sin if I do not get it?
Additional questions that will help identify what is going on at the heart level include: What do you love or hate? What do you want, desire, crave, lust, and wish for? What desires do you serve and obey? What do you see, aim for, pursue? What are your goals and expectations? Where do you bank your hopes? What do you fear? What do you not want? What do you tend to worry about? What do you feel like doing? What do you think you need? What are your plans, agendas, strategies, and intentions designed to accomplish? Where do you find refuge, safety, comfort, escape, pleasure, security? What or who do you trust? Whose opinion counts? Who must you please? Whose victory or success would make your life happy? How do you define victory or success? What do you see as your rights? What do you feel entitled to? What do you pray for? What do you think about most often? What do you talk about most often? What motivates you to change your calendar? What are your daydreams? What would make life perfect? (1)
Accountability
The third biblical principle to help a believer live life as a God-pleasing person is personal accountability. The New Testament emphasizes the role that brothers and sisters in Christ play in the growth and daily life of an individual (i.e., the “one another” commands). And while that is true, most churched counselees report that although they have many friends in the church, the depth of relationship is shallow or surface-only. Those same counselees are committed to having the kinds of relationships with other believers that are referenced in the Scriptures; however, many have not seen authentic relationships modeled nor have they been taught how to foster them. The problem gets worse when considering church leadership who find it difficult to have intimate friendships with those in the congregation.
A quick survey of New Testament passages confirms both the necessity and importance of accountability. James writes, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed…Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one converts him; let him know, that he which coverts the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins” (James 5:16, 19-20). Furthermore, the writer of Hebrews instructs, “But exhort one another daily, while it is called today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). Dave Powlison often refers to this element of the Christian life as the field of love. Whereas the Bible gives us the fence or boundaries for Christian living, the area inside the boundaries is full of opportunities to interact with other believers as mutual friends and fellow-strivers for godliness.
Although developing these kinds of friendships is not easy, the neglect of both quality and quantity of authentic relationships in Christ hinders the believer’s ability to live as a God-pleasing person. Where believers have in fact built this level of friendship, the pay-off is well worth the necessary effort.Although developing these kinds of friendships is not easy, the neglect of both quality and quantity of authentic relationships in Christ hinders the believer’s ability to live as a God-pleasing person. Share on X
You can begin to develop good accountability by considering the following steps. First, look for a wise friend that you can trust and who will give you honest feedback (James 3:13-18). Be sure this friend already practices applying biblical principles to their heart and behavior in everyday situations and will be able to help you do the same. Next, set a regular meeting time where you can ask each other good accountability questions, as well as help each other develop a battle plan for continued growth the next week. Some sample questions are: What was your attitude this week about growing to become more like Christ? How did your behavior display that attitude in your daily walk? Have you consistently and specifically confessed sin and sought forgiveness from those applicable? If not, what is your plan for doing so? What are the areas of growth and the most pronounced patterns of sin in your life at present? What are you going to do to help you respond more godly the next time? Where do you need help or advice to respond more godly? Have you recognized an opportunity this week to share Christ with someone? How did you act upon that opportunity? What is your plan for this week? How have you creatively loved and served others this week? It is a good idea as well to always end your time together with a question about honesty.
Take the Next Step
So how does the past ten minutes help change your life? By taking what you have considered and acting upon it. Far too many brothers and sisters in Christ fall each day and fail to honor God. As counselees they tell me that in fact they are shocked. Most cannot believe they are in the particular situation. Many say, “If only someone would have helped me understand this before…” That is your challenge. Apply well and share it with others for God’s glory in your life and the church.
(1) These questions are a sampling from David Powlison, “X-ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior” Journal of Biblical Counseling 18:1 (Fall 1999): 2-9.
This blog originally appeared as an article in the Baptist Bible Tribune (Sept 2009).
Pastor Kevin’s Blog | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey