Editor’s Note: As students and parents continue to prepare for a new school year, there are several key issues that every family should consider with their children. Regardless of school choice preferences (public, private, homeschool), every parent should not just consider key issues but should discuss certain concepts with their child before embarking on another school year. This blog miniseries will address several of those issues. (Part one – Purpose of Life, Part two – Worldview, Part three – Temptation, Part Four – Christ, Part Five – Loving Others, Part Six – Living Consistent)
Back to School – Loving Others
As your child heads off to do school, regardless of the setting, one of the daily goals is to fulfill the second great commandment – to love your neighbor as yourself. Creatively loving your neighbor is a challenge for all children as they strive to live a life of faithful obedience to Christ. However, when children learn to love others well, they fulfill the great commandment and become salt and light to those around them.
Loving Others is a sign of maturing faith in Christ.
By nature every child is both selfish and foolish (James 1:13-16; Prov 22:15). A child does not have to be taught how to be selfish. There are no lessons in how to want what another child has. We never have to sit down and teach our children to cry, pout, or wine if they do not get what they want. I’ve never heard of a parent teaching their children to want the last brownie, last chip, or to always try to get in the front of the line. These things come natural to all children, because all children are sinners.A child does not have to be taught how to be selfish. ... These things come natural to all children, because all children are sinners. Share on X
Every person since Adam is me-oriented. The most important person in the universe of every person in the universe is self. Several times the Bible uses love of self as a measuring stick to see how you love others. Why would Jesus and others do this? Because every individual loves self. That is true to your child or children as well – and your child’s parents.
Therefore, whenever we emphasize, teach, and then see our children choosing to love others, this is a sign of budding maturity. It is not natural. We must teach our children the principle of loving others and then help them think through the implications for daily living with others. In addition, we need to model it in front of them – which may be the much bigger challenge.We must teach our children the principle of loving others and then help them think through the implications for daily living with others. Share on X
The motivation for loving others first
In order to love well, our children must have the proper motivation. Again, selfishness is natural. Therefore, we want them to learn to live in a very unnatural way. How? We teach them the love of Christ. Paul says, “For the love of Christ controls us…” (2 Cor 5:14). We observe the love that Christ has for us and it motivates us to want to love others in similar ways. In that way, the love Christ has for us controls what we do because it motivates us.
Paul continues, “because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Cor 5:14-15). In other words, when we clearly see the love Christ has for us, we are motivated to want to live for others rather than self – since that is exactly what Jesus did for us....when we clearly see the love Christ has for us, we are motivated to want to live for others rather than self - since that is exactly what Jesus did for us. Share on X
The results of being motivated by the love of Christ
There are incredible results in the lives of our children when we help them learn to be motivated by the love of Christ. Here are just a few.
- They are salt and light to those around which they live. Whether it is at home or in a school of some kind, our children act as salt and light. Why? Because the vast majority of other children will not be motivated to selflessness and service. However, if you help your child understand the love of Christ and the second great commandment, then your child will appropriately stand out for Christ.
- They will exhibit wisdom beyond their years (James 3:13-18). As they learn to live selfless and thoughtful toward others, their motivation will be the love Christ has shown them which produces less envy, jealousy, and selfishness. The world’s wisdom is driven by those things. Wisdom from God begins with the right motivation and then looks out for others.
- They will serve others. Paul makes it clear that for the believer, God provides daily energy in order for us to fulfill the great commandment and serve others. He writes, “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Gal 5:13). Liberty here means that you do not have to earn your salvation. God saves you and keeps you saved. Instead, you can use your energy for much bigger and better things – serving others in love.
Key Bible Passages to Help
“Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love you neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”” (Matthew 22:37-40).
“For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Cor 5:14-15).
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil 2:3-4).
“For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13).
“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:13-16).
Creatively loving your neighbor is a challenge for all children as they strive to live a life of faithful obedience to Christ. Share on XTeaching Opportunities for Parents
- Have your child memorize (or better yet, have the entire family memorize) one or two of the key verses above. Be sure you explain them clearly for your child to understand what they mean.
- Take time to pray with your children to ask God to help them remember the love Jesus has for them and how that love should motivate them to love others.
- Illustration: Use an unopened bottle of water as your example. If the unopened water represents all the energy your child has in a day, all of that energy is to be used to lovingly serve others rather than self (Gal 5:13-6:5). They do not have to use one ounce of their energy in order to earn or keep their salvation. Instead, God handles our eternal security. Since that is the case, He expects us to use our energy to serve other people. He takes care of the most important part with His energy for us – salvation; we take care of the rest with our own energy – serving others out of love.
- Give your children several scenarios and have them respond with two possible options: a selfish response and a loving response. Have fun with your examples. Try to help them think through it carefully. Laugh with them as they discuss the selfish examples and then praise them for great responses to the selfless examples. (We laugh not because sin is funny; instead, we laugh because we all realize how silly it is to respond in these ways but we have all done it at times.)
- After you have done this, do it again and again. Your children will need lots of help practicing love over selfishness.
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