For the married couple who are Christ-followers, the Bible alone should be the couple’s authority in living. The Bible teaches about relationships, communication, conflict resolution, parenting, finances, and sex. As a husband or wife, the Bible also provides clear instruction related to how a person can honor God individually as well, just as they can as a couple.
In this miniseries on sex, we have explored together various issues related to the purpose of sex, the motivation for sex, the benefits of sex, the connection between communication and sex, and various other topics. Over the next few days, we will explore specifically what the Bible teaches related to sex in general. We begin with “Sex in Marriage Is Pure and Holy.”[1]
Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy
Sex in marriage is God’s idea and should be celebrated as such.
As part of the Creation Mandate (Gen 1:27-28), God designed for sex to play a vital role in marriage. He mandated that mankind be fruitful and multiply. In order for any couple to obey the first command to couples in the Bible, the couple must have sex. As such, sex became part of the first instruction man received from his Creator God.
We do not have to look past the first chapter in the Bible then to see sex as part of God’s plan for each individual married couple. As individuals created in the image of God, sex provides the means by which God planned for couples to obey Him. The Bible summarizes the first chapter of Genesis which explains creation and God’s plan for mankind as “very good” (Gen 1:31).
Furthermore, when God introduced Adam to Eve, the Bible describes them as “both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen 2:25). Ashamed here refers to the fact that there was no sin, nothing to hide, no defilement, nor any reason to not simply enjoy and be enjoyed by each other. This was Eden.
Sin Enters the Scene – Yet God Still Refers to Sex as Pure and Holy
Adam and Eve did not stay in Eden though. For in the very next chapter of the story of mankind’s first parents (Genesis 3:1-6), sin invades Eden through the serpent. Eve was deceived and took fruit from the only forbidden tree in the Garden. She ate, gave it to her husband Adam, and he ate as well. This is the first sin and forever changed the course of mankind’s history.
What about sex? Did sex also become tainted by mankind’s sin in the Garden?
No, not sex in marriage. We know this for several reasons. I will highlight just two.
First, sex in marriage is still part of God’s plan and honors Him because it would still be impossible to obey God without it. In fact, later in Genesis, God gave the exact same mandate He had given to Adam to Noah and his family upon coming out of the arc (Gen 9:1, 7). God told them to be fruitful and multiply, which as we said earlier, includes the mandate for sex.
Why is it important to notice that God gave the command? Because the Bible teaches that God cannot be tempted with evil and neither does He tempt any person (James 1:13). If God commanded man to do something (in this case sex), then what God commands by definition cannot be sin (in this case again, having sex together as a married couple). Therefore, sex must be holy and pure in God’s eyes, because His expectations for man continued to include sex at its core between husbands and wives.
Second, the Bible refers to marriage and sex as pure. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb 13:4). When the Bible author refers to the bed, he uses that term as an euphemism for sex in marriage. The term undefiled highlights purity and moral freedom from pollution. The term is used in the sense of purity from sexual transgression.[2]
In comparison, the Bible says God will judge fornicators and adulterers. In other words, premarital sex and extramarital sex are both sins. For this reason, God will judge them. This text specifically makes the comparison between the two. There is sex that is holy and pure – between a husband and wife in marriage. There is sex that is not holy and pure for which God will judge – sex in any other context outside of a husband and wife in marriage.
Therefore, sex in marriage between a husband and wife is pure, good, and honorable. Any other view of sex would be an inaccurate or sinful view. What God calls holy and good, we cannot call unholy or not good.
Implications of Sex as Holy and Pure
Sex in marriage is just as holy and pure as praying, reading the Bible, sharing the Gospel, preparing a message, preaching or teaching the Bible, giving offerings, or any other good activity related to the Christian’s life and practice. The Christian couple should participate with a great sense of freedom, passion, and satisfaction.
Over the centuries, some have taught that for something to feel so good it must be wrong, that Christians are to deny certain pleasures, and that sex must be dirty. This is not accurate. Sex outside of God’s design certainly would be wrong. However, as God designed, sex inside marriage between a husband and wife is undefiled, pure, and holy.[3]
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In preparation for the next blog on sex, you can consider this question, “What does the Bible say about how often a married couple should have sex?” Talk with you then.
Part 1: What You Need to Know about Sex and Why
Part 2: What is the Ultimate Purpose of Sex?
Part 3: What is the motivation for good sex?
Part 4: What are the benefits of good sex?
Part 5: What is the connection between sex and communication?
Part 6: How can you understand the struggle of a man’s desire for sex in marriage?
Part 7: How should a husband deal with his desire for sex?
Part 8: Wife, are you cheating your husband?
Part 9: Husband, are you cheating your wife?
[1] Some of the material for today’s blog comes from Biblical Principles of Sex by Robert Smith. He and I are working on a revised and expanded version of this book through P&R (forthcoming).
[2] Friedrich Hauck, “Μιαίνω, Μίασμα, Μιασμός, Ἀμίαντος,” ed. Gerhard Kittel, Geoffrey W. Bromiley, and Gerhard Friedrich, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1964–), 647.
[3] It is possible for a husband or wife because of a sinful heart driven by lust to sin even inside marriage, as we discussed here and here. However, this does not make sex defiled, impure, or unholy. This is an important aspect to understand. Just because a spouse can individually not honor God in the way, manner, or motivation of sex in marriage does not mean that marital sex itself is impure, unholy, or defiled.
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