If only parenting were as easy as painting by number, or following a simple list of instructions, or pushing the right sequence of buttons, or following a map. Right?? Wouldn’t that be easier for all of us. If there were just a way to parent in such a way that we could guarantee the results! My guess is that most parents would rejoice in either that kind of news, direction, or instruction manual.
However, there is no such manual, set of instructions, sequence of buttons, or parenting map. Instead, parenting includes decision after decision, hard choice after hard choice, and recommendation after recommendation – often in the dark or at least in the proverbial fog. Although our spirit desires to do it well, ultimately, we walk by faith.
In today’s blog I set up the parameters of your challenge for the soul of your child.
As you parent…
The Fear of the LORD is primary.
A variety of biblical authors sets the stage for us as parents and individuals.
“Fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, to turn away from evil, that is understanding” (Job 28:28).
“Fearing the Lord is the beginning of moral knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Prov 1:7-9).
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all” (Eccl 12:13).
What do each of these verses have in common? They remind us that the most important thing in life is the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord essentially means that a person respects God’s character and works (Who He is and what He does). As a result of that respect, that person obeys and trusts God.
In every day life, the person who fears God puts God first. Jesus is the ultimate example of this. As Isaiah described Jesus in a prophetic passage, he wrote, “[Jesus’] delight is in the fear of the Lord, and He shall not judge by the sight of His eyes, nor decide by the hearing of His ears;” (Isaiah 11:3). Jesus regularly explained that He did everything to please His Father – everything and always what God wanted (John 6:38; 8:29; 14:31, et. al.).
As parents, helping our children live according to the fear of God must be our number one priority. We desire for them to live with God as their number one priority in life. We want our children to also say, “I do everything that God desires because I desire everything that God desires.” As Jesus, we long for our children to say, “I delight in the fear of God.”
The Problem…
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.
Our Bible search ends quickly if we go looking for the source of the problems with or in our children.
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;…” (Prov 22:15).
“The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God.’…” (Ps 14:1).
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me” (Ps 51:5).
“…among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others” (Eph 2:3).
Children arrive with twist. Although God wants them to love and obey Him with all their heart and soul, a child arrives with a heart that is against God, wants to do his or her own thing, and desires to serve self. The child that steals our hearts at first sight needs Jesus Christ and a new inner man.
Children do not naturally desire to please and honor God. They do not delight in God or His Word.
The Challenge…
Parents must make wisdom beautiful.
As parents, our challenge begins with the child’s heart. A heart that is naturally bent away from God must be turned toward God in repentance and faith. The goal focuses on the heart – the fight for their souls.
We ask, “How can I help my child love and follow Jesus?” “How can I influence my child to do what God desires?”
We turn again to Solomon.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
My son, hear the instruction of your father,
And do not forsake the law of your mother;
For they will be a graceful ornament on your head,
And chains about your neck” (Prov 1:7-9).
Parents, we must live and teach the fear of God. We must use our actions and our words to point our children toward what is best. As we live day-by-day, we repeatedly connect the moments of life with the glory of God.
Essentially, parents, we must live like Jesus making God our priority, God’s desires our desires, and God’s will our will. The fight for your child’s soul begins in your own. You must want and do these things before you ask your child to do so. Each of us must love and live for Jesus if we ask our child to do so. If you fail in this area, how is your child supposed to learn and succeed?
As we fear God and put Him first, we train our children to do the same – in word and deed. With the awareness of what God desires, we parents live and say what is worth learning. As we do, our children grow in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
KevinCarson.com | Walking together through life as friends in Christ sharing wisdom along the journey
