As I watched the video of a Detroit 20-year-old man beating the senior adult man in a nursing home this week my heart sank in sadness and what I wish was disbelief. This story is not alone. Just months ago, North Carolina police reported a nursing home fight club. Certainly throughout this coronavirus pandemic, just as domestic abuse and child abuse have both increased, so also has elder abuse.
As a former senior adult pastor for years who each day dedicated my energies to serving senior adults, I am horrified at what I see happened in Detriot – and in my heart I know may be happening behind closed doors in many places. Families, church families, neighbors, and friends are locked out of care facilities because of the fear and risk of the coronaviris. In their place, there arises other threats in addition to a significant time of increased suffering as those who love them cannot get in the front door to see them.
9 Things You Need to Consider
- We all share a responsibility to the elderly.
From the earliest pages of the Bible in the law, God expected people to honor the elderly (Lev 19:32). The Bible says to listen to our fathers and not despise our mothers when they are older (Prov 23:22). Jesus tells us to honor our mothers and fathers (Matt 15:4). These things are true when we are children; they are true when we are older and our parents are much older. We are to provide for the elderly in every way. It is both a demonstration of our faith and an act of love (James 1:27; 1 Tim 5:8). - One bad nursing home worker is not all nursing home workers.
During those early years of ministry, I spent hours and hours in and out of nursing homes as I visited those for whom I was responsible. I loved every minute of it. I was there during all times of the day and night – even spending several nights sitting with various nursing home residents. Over that time, I interacted with and watched the staff. They have hard jobs. Most of us would not choose to serve as they do. Often the care is demanding, sometimes the patients cannot understand (or hear) what you say, the patients lose control of various bodily functions, and basically those in their care must be served twenty-four/seven.Who does this work? Thousands and thousands of loving, caring, qualified personnel provide for the almost two million Americans in nursing homes. These individuals do not serve for high wages. Many nursing home workers work for under $10 per hour (avg. $8.49-$12.83). No one is getting rich. Instead, they do it out of love. They provide smiles, warm blankets, clean sheets, hot meals, medicine, and so much more. When, at times, families and friends fail to make a visit, check-in, or provide any kind of service, these individuals become family to their in-home patient. I know that so many of you join me in your deepest appreciation for these individuals who sacrificially love those who are in need of this care. - Elder abuse breaks two kinds of law.
When someone abuses an elder, that person breaks both the Law of Love and the Law of the Land. God sets the Law of Love. The Bible clearly states to love others as we love ourselves, this is the Second Great Commandment (Matt 22:38-40). Jesus’ half-brother James makes this clear as well when he states that caring for the widow is authentic Christianity and choosing to act on behalf of the one who is in need demonstrates true faith (James 2:14-26). To abuse an elder in any sense breaks God’s law. He expects us to love willingly and creatively those who need it.It also breaks the Law of the Land. Laws exists on the federal, state, and local levels to protect the elderly. At every level, the judicial system sets the standard for elderly care. Although many estimate that only 1 in 4 cases of abuse gets reported, the laws do strive to protect the most vulnerable. - A nursing home is a business.
As a business, nursing homes must make money. Your local nursing home is either part of a greater corporation of nursing homes or is locally owned. In either and both cases, at the end of the day, these nursing homes must make enough money to keep the doors open. Medicare and Medicaid pump billions of dollars into this industry. However, similar to hospitals and doctors, these programs seek to pay the absolute lowest amount of reimbursement possible.The administration of a nursing home constantly struggles to provide the perfect amount of care while needing to turn a profit as well. Whether or not they like the amount of government reimbursements or insurance reimbursements, the hard reality exist that nursing home care costs a lot. The average cost of assisted living is around $4,000.00 per month with the average cost of nursing home care around double that. Yes, that is expensive. But so are the expenses of the nursing home. Thus administrators struggle to keep a balance of enough workers on every shift against the bottom line.Understand me here please. I am not saying they get it perfect always. Nor am I defending the reimbursement system set up by government. I am just trying to help you be aware of the fact that they are at least trying to turn a profit even as they seek to care for their patients.
- Those who serve in nursing homes serve sacrificially.
From the licensed nurse to the nursing assistant, from the cafeteria cook to the cafeteria worker, from the physical therapist to the environmental services employee, no one has it easy in a nursing home. The care each must provide is demanding. As people age, their ability to help themselves also diminishes. As these things change, they require much care. Medical, emotional, mental, and spiritual care are all needed. From the chaplain to the cook, each of these individual employees have one basic goal – to provide the atmosphere and care which best reflects care for this individual.I have spent hours in these facilities. In each instance, I watched the sacrificial care provided for the most vulnerable and dependent. As I mentioned above – not for the money. They do it out of care. The smells, tasks, and responsibilities do not encourage their work or sacrifice. Care and love do. - The COVID-19 Coronavirus has just made matters worse.
As the pandemic hit and nursing home quit allowing anyone from the outside to enter the facilities, all problems just became worse and pressures became greater. We each applaud the motivation for keeping all visitors out of the nursing homes. Certainly we do want to protect the residents. Tragically we see what happened in the state of New York when the government failed to protect the most vulnerable and sent sick COVID-19 patients into nursing homes. Thousands have died. All. Alone.Families and visitors provide a couple incredible benefits both for the nursing homes and the patients in them. 1) Families and friends help bear the burden of care. They do things to help and serve as they can. Everything from moving a loved one to refilling a water, individual care is better. 2) Families and friends provide accountability for the nursing home and its employees. There are no greater advocates than those who love the patient. 3) Families and friends provide mental, emotional, and spiritual support to those they love – and even other patients as they interact with them too. - Join in praying for those in the nursing home and who serve the nursing home patients.
Pray for those who serve and are being served in nursing homes across our nation. Pray for their physical safety. With diminished support, we want God to provide for their safety. Pray for their overall mental, emotional, and spiritual condition. Pray that they will be encouraged not discouraged, content not discontent, satisfied not dissatisfied, and pleased not displeased. We can ask God to provide for them everything they need physically as He has already done spiritually. Pray that the chaplains make a major difference in the lives of those for whom they care. - Our best is to love and patiently endure.
For now, employees and administrators must patiently endure and love for us. We call on them to once again vow to serve to the best of their ability. Oh how we wish we could be in there helping with you. We miss seeing these valued and loved members of our community. Along with you, we want them served well. However, our ability is limited. We depend upon you. You can do what we cannot for now. Just know that we are rooting for you, support you, and want God’s best for you as you sacrifice for those who need you. You literally are our hands and feet, our voices, and our demonstration of love to those in your care. As such, we want the very best for you and applaud you in your work.Do not hesitate to contact us when you need something. If there is something we can do to help you, please let us know. - All of us need to try to love better.
For those of us who are on the outside and care but looking in, we have a responsibility as well. We need to be creative to love well. Contact your local nursing home and ask to see what you can do. Our church has been serving several local nursing homes throughout this pandemic. Possibly you can as well. See what they need. Ask how you can serve. Suggest some ways that you may be able to help them.Consider and ask permission about some of these ideas: dropping off balloons with helium (they will have to be wiped and quarantined), flowers and flower arrangements, cards, go window-to-window waving, make signs on poster boards, go as a group and sing from window-to-window, take new bird feeders and feed to put up outside additional windows, and more! Start with this list and go from there. Call your local nursing home and ask them for ideas as well. See how they may be able to use you, your family, your neighbors, or your church to help fill a need that they may have.
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