Fire Station 2 ~ Newest fire station in Ozark, MO
Saying “Thank You” to our local first responders goes far, but does not go far enough. The unsung heroes of our local first responders are their families. They quietly sacrifice and suffer alongside their first responder but in ways we often do not see nor understand.
Families where at least one spouse serves as a firefighter, police officer, EMS, or other related positions live under the strain and pressure of their loved one’s job. These marriages and families bear the weight of long hours, frequent danger, and an extremely at-risk family member. The first responder frequently undergoes highly traumatic events. He or she lives with a crew that often becomes another family. They eat together, sleep together, face life-and-death situations together, fight for a common cause together, and depend upon each other for life. They lean on each other to fight for emotional calm, through substance abuse, and an awareness of the high risk of suicide. All the while, there is family at home quietly suffering through those things as well.
Because of this, first responder homes undergo extreme stress, are at high risk for marital problems such as disharmony, infidelity, and divorce, and many times struggle. Families never know what is really going on with their loved first responder and must assume always that they will face dangerous life-and-death situations as part of his or her day. The families depend upon God’s help, the first responder’s training, and selfless coworkers to help get their loved one home safely.
The Effects of the Job and the Front Door
As first responders get home, what they have done, what they have seen, and what they have endured go home with them. In addition, rotating assignments, station house pressure, various responsibilities, and long hours, all help create additional pressure on the family. Often first responders struggle with bringing this pressure in the front door with them. The wear and tear of the job brings additional relationship difficulties and pressures on everyone in the home.
Sleepless night. Concern for safety. One writer writes,
They suffer sleepless nights alongside us. Sometimes, for us rural departments, they are the ones organizing food and drinks when we are faced with a fire that just won’t quit. Our partners worry about us, even when they tell us they don’t. They carry the burden alongside us. We need them to be strong. If they aren’t, then we have a higher likelihood of succumbing to the stress we encounter.
They may never feel the heat of the fire or the fear of staring into the wrong end of a weapon, but they can feel our reactions. We do the best to try and protect them, but they can always tell.
And, they can also feel guilty about relying on us when they are having a bad day. They are reluctant to vent to us or share the stress of everyday life with us because of their perception of our roles.
They walk this journey with us, but they are the silent victims when things don’t go so well.
PTSI is a real problem for first responders. But while you are experiencing increased depressive moods, hypervigilance, nightmares that keep you up or keep you from trying to sleep, and increase in the use of substances like alcohol or tobacco, the family members are watching.
And, while your irritability climbs to levels that are almost unbearable and all you want and seek is relief by whatever means possible, the family is there.
This continues for days, then a week, and sometimes persists on for longer as your family watches from a helpless distance.
And, what can they do?
Yet, no one is talking about them. Or, more importantly, to them.
We say, “Thank You Families!”
To our local heroes’ families, regardless of where your hero has served, how he or she served, or how long, we thank you.
You bear a weight that not many of us know about. To you, we are grateful. We reflect on your own sacrifices, stresses, struggles, and stamina. To you, we affirm what you do, what toll it takes, and the spirit in which you do it.
We realize to only thank a local hero is to only do half of what is required of us. We thank you as well.
We are grateful.
Image Credit Hamza El-Falah