I read this week’s opinion piece in the LA Times by Virginia Heffernan as she reflected on the kindness of her neighbor. She enjoys hanging out at Mammoth in California as her pandemic getaway. Nestled in the mountains east of Sacramento, Mammoth gets lots of snow in the winter. Her neighbors who supported a different presidential candidate than she shoveled her driveway after a recently very large snow. She complimented how good the neighbor-man did. Her perplexity: how do I respond to his kindness when I dislike his political position so badly?
As she described his political position, she made a point to call his kindness “aggressive kindness” and, since he supported someone she did not as the president, she also compared his kindness to the kind of kindness of Hezbollah, that of the Nazis, and of Louis Farrakhan. She also determined that had she not been white as he, he would have never been kind at all, since white people are only kind to other white people. (Which it would be interesting to know if she is actually kind to anyone other than white.)
She asks, “How am I going to resist demands for unity in the face of this act of aggressive niceness?” She refers to political unity. Since their president of choice is no longer the president, she wonders how she can forgive them for supporting him for four years. How is it possible for her to go on without holding their support of him against them? Is this act of kindness supposed to force her to be kind in return? Should she wave in acknowledgement of their kindness? What about baking them something as a way to express gratitude? What is she going to do when her political foe demonstrates kindness to her?
A Mess Online…
As I’m sure you can imagine, she created a storm online. Many individuals have been downright ugly, vulgar, and indecent toward her. She says she has been the victim of a scheme where now they are hounding her for her story – as if many of them are bullying her online as a result. I looked through her Twitter feed and am disgusted by what I saw. No doubt many people chose to respond to her opinion with ungodliness. Every person should be treated with kindness always, no matter how they refer to their neighbor’s kindness.
She has contempt for her pandemic neighbor who demonstrated kindness because he and his wife “My neighbors supported a man who showed near-murderous contempt for the majority of Americans. They kept him in business with their support.” Plus, her neighbors support blue lives. She summarizes his kindness to her when she writes, “Loving your neighbor is evidently much easier when your neighborhood is full of people just like you” – implying they would not have been kind if she were black.
Evidently Senator Ben Sasse suggested shoveling your driveway for your neighbor as a sign of Americanism after the most recent political storm. Mrs. Heffernan wonders whether or not her neighbor heard the Senator and chose to act Sassian.
She summarizes with these final two paragraphs:
I also can’t give my neighbors absolution; it’s not mine to give. Free driveway work, as nice as it is, is just not the same currency as justice and truth. To pretend it is would be to lie, and they probably aren’t looking for absolution anyway.
But I can offer a standing invitation to make amends. Not with a snowplow but by recognizing the truth about the Trump administration and, more important, by working for justice for all those whom the administration harmed. Only when we work shoulder to shoulder to repair the damage of the last four years will we even begin to dig out of this storm.
In other words, her hate of the politics of the former president and by extension anyone who supported him means that she can’t accept the kindness by her neighbor. It may be a step forward, but she is not willing to let it move her to think of them in anything less than contempt. Her view of the former president flows out of her view of the world, her view of politics, her view of the culture, and her view of fellow man. As much as she wants to be seen in this piece with the high ground, she demonstrates her position is full of assumptions, judgementalism, and spite as she believes her neighbors’ are.
I Don’t Know Her or Her Neighbors, But…
Here’s the reality… I do not know her or her neighbors. For all I know, they all three claim a vibrant relationship with God through Christ. Who knows? I do not. I do not need to know. In some sense, it makes me freer to give my position if I do not know her stated relationship with God or theirs.
Here’s the deal: we are told to be kind to our neighbor regardless of who are neighbor is. To be honest, I have people who have been unkind to me because I was deemed as too silent on defaming the former president. Although I never publicly supported him on this blog, since I did not typically shame him and only occasionally criticized him, I am complicit to anything they thought wrong with him. However, I have not made my practice bashing him, Mr. Obama, or Mr. Biden. I firmly believe we point to a problem and we choose to not attack the person. I did disagreed with policies and in some ways with both former presidents and how they acted (Mr. Biden is the third president since this blog has started). I also disagree with the current president in various ways. I will continue to address these issues as necessary while seeking not to attack the person.
Regardless of who our neighbor is, we are to be kind. We choose to love people generally, even our enemies. If someone goes online and criticizes me, I am to choose kindness. If someone who disagrees with me on any position (including what they assume that may be true or what they assume that is absolutely false), I still must be kind, show respect as someone in the image of God, and someone Jesus loves. As a follower of Christ, I choose kindness not because the person agrees with me, not because the person is the same color, not because there is something to gain, not because we live in the same neighborhood, not because of anything outward like that. If those are the standards of love, then all of us are in miserable positions. Instead, we choose kindness because the other person was created in the image of God. We choose kindness because Jesus loves people and we are to love people as well. Further, we choose kindness because we do not deserve kindness often either. Jesus said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:37-40).
I Pity Her, Receive the Challenge Myself, and Challenge You…
I pity the fact that she is so wound up in her politics that she finds it difficult to see her neighbor as someone to be kind to, much less as someone to whom she needs to be kind. What a small life to choose to value others as those to whom you should or could be kind if that circle only includes those to whom you favor. My guess is that she is not alone, especially given some of what has been said to me.
Further, I take it as a personal challenge. Is is possible that I have an attitude similar to her in any way? Are there individuals in this community or our nation that I unfairly judge, inaccurately see, or selfishly value as “less than”s. If that is the case, I must change. I pray that I am consistent in this area, but I would be a fool to assume that I am perfect or even near perfect.
What about you? If you say that you are a follower of Christ, then you must live an exemplary life of love toward others. As you have been loved by God through Jesus Christ, you are to love others. Regardless of who they are, what they believe, where they live, what color they are, or any other way you may be tempted to judge others, we all live under the same command to love others as Christ. May that be the case.
And to the neighbor who just took his farm equipment and plowed the road in front of my house, regardless of your political opinions (which I have absolutely no idea about) or what you may know about mine, thank you for your kindness. I will be happy to bring you cookies after I either buy them or my wife makes some. Either way, whatever your political position, THANK YOU for what you just did for the rest of us.
Image Credit Los Angeles Times
KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together
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