The recent revelations of Ravi Zacharias’ secret life and another high profile pastor’s denial of the Christian faith encouraged me to finish this blog that was started months ago.
For the thousands who have purchased these authors’ books, read their articles, gone to hear them in person, and listened to their podcasts, the news is heart wrenching. For any of the rest of you who just follow Jesus, this is also troubling.
We ask, “How does a pastor get here?” “What makes this happen?” “What is going on?”
As a pastor, counselor, Bible college and seminary professor, writer, friend, father, and husband, I have been concerned for some time about so many “big-name” pastors who have left the faith, been forced from their ministries, or otherwise have a bad testimony. I am concerned for all those brothers- and sisters-in-Christ who walk alongside me and so many others in the faith. Furthermore, when I hear of specific people that have been sinned against in egregious ways and many of whom did not find help, my heart breaks. The Bible teaches us to look up to our elders, follow Christ together, and support one another.
As one of those walking alongside you, my heart is burdened for the depth of the sin and suffering caused by Ravi and so many more like him. In the same instance, I recognize the pressures, trials, temptations, and opportunities to do less than glorify God in daily living. As my awareness of their story increases, the more aware I become of every man’s battle, especially pastors, counselors, professors, writers, friends, fathers, and husbands.
A Confession…
I use words. Thousands upon thousands of them. I talk and talk and talk. I write and write and write. Minute upon minute. Hour upon hour. Day upon day. The topic of all the words, talk, and writing? Usually they include lots of truth. I discuss passage after passage. I seek to exposit the Scriptures faithfully. I have worked through truth upon truth. Principle upon principle. Considered and spoken of the gospel frequently.
My experience over 30 years of ministry in various roles is that at times I have disappointed people. Some have said they hate me. Along the way, others have blamed me for their problems. Still others have accused me of wrong – and of those, some have been right.
Do you want to know the truth? I am not perfect. Nowhere close. I preach, teach, counsel, write, and talk about marvelous truth, a deserving Savior, a powerful cross, a vibrant church, and a glorious hope. I explain God’s character and discuss His holiness. I encourage people to grow in discernment and wisdom. I seek to live and love the Gospel. I have the privilege to discuss truths too marvelous for me.
As I do these things, here is the reality: I love what I do. I believe every word I preach, teach, counsel, and write. I long to always live consistent with these things. But, I sadly do not.
Just to put you at ease, I do not have any major sin to confess. I am not revealing any secrets in this confession. I am stating the obvious – true for me and thousands of pastors like me. I hate whenever I sin. In fact, I hate to even disappoint people. The last thing I want to ever be is unfaithful to Christ, to a friend, to my family, or to my vocation.
My Concerns…
Here are my concerns. They are multifaceted.
- As a believer in Jesus Christ, I do not live alone. I live within a group, a community, a body, a church. People have a chance to listen, observe, inspect, and draw their own conclusions. The Apostle Paul discusses many times how people watched him and observed his manner of living (cf., 1 Thess 2; Phil 3). He also challenged all Christ-followers to live as examples of Jesus Christ.
- What I do as a preacher, teacher, counselor, and writer potentially impacts you, the listener, student, counselee, and reader. How I live may impact your view of God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, the Word of God, the Church, and the Gospel. Again, the Apostle emphasizes this when he writes, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me…” What was true of Paul – the reality that people watch, listen, and learn – is just as likely to happen to me too (Phil 4:9).
- As we travel through life together, I am concerned that somehow as you listen, learn, read, and follow, you would forget that I too am a sinner. I am also weak at times. Include me in the group that is prone to wander, needs help, and must have the “one-anothers” as a struggler and sinner.
- Again, back to reality…potentially in my haste to say something or do something, I sin. Along the way I may not make a wise choice. On a particular day or days, I may not choose the right words. My attitude may stink. I may respond in anger. In a moment, I may demonstrate minimum endurance. My driving (or any part of my life) may reflect pride instead of humility. My self-counsel project may stall. My reading and prayer life may lack. It is precisely on those days that I do not want you to be hurt; instead, I want you to be encouraged, strengthened, and engaged in my own struggle and effort to become like Christ.
Why the confession?
- Because my goal is to be a window to Jesus not a hindrance (Phil 1:20-21). I would hope that as you watch me you would see a fellow-struggler who grows to become more like Christ with you. My goal is to honor Christ more. In the process of living life with you as a preacher, teacher, counselor, writer, husband, father, friend, and neighbor, my hope is to help you see clearer our beautiful Savior, Friend, and Life-changer.
- Because my burden is for you. Thankfully, because of the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross, I am good with God through Christ. Whenever I sin or struggle, the Holy Spirit prays for me, Jesus Christ is my Advocate, and God forgives me of my sin through Christ. In this way, God is not my major concern; it is you. I do not want to distract you. The warnings in the Bible are great and heavy. Jesus said not to hinder a little child’s faith, be careful that you save others, to be salt and light for the world, to demonstrate the love of Christ, and help saints grow toward Christlikeness.
- Because Paul is not alone. He declared that he was the chiefest of sinners and least among the apostles. I too would say that I also feel the chiefest of sinners whenever I look at my own heart and understand why he would say he was the least among God’s servants. I get it. I know the wonderful truth that I teach but also recognize my own sin and struggle.
- Because I know the temptations over time of public ministry. Occasionally someone will say, “Well done” or something similar. People share words of kindness, encouragement, and support. If we are not careful, we believe our “press” instead of looking in our own hearts. In the mountain of good words we say, truth we share, or counsel we give, we can get distracted from what is most important – our own hearts before God as humble followers. We may minimize the necessity of the one-anothers. We may allow the desires of our heart to be toward something rather than carefully following the Father’s will.
What does all this mean?
Just as you sin occasionally, you make poor choices, you use less than perfect wisdom, you fail to discern something accurately, those around you who teach and lead you do as well. As one of those men who husbands, fathers, preaches, teaches, counsels, and writes, I fail. Do I wish I was the perfect example of wisdom, discernment, righteousness, holiness, and truth? Absolutely. Instead, I am saint positionally who also strives to become more like Christ in the midst of suffering and sin. Sometimes that striving looks better than at others.
At the end of the day though, heaven forbid that my failures in striving toward sanctification creates an opportunity for others to do something less than follow Christ with their all.
Back to the men I referenced at the top of this article and the many others who pastor, counsel, write, and lead (or who have in the past but now do not because of personal struggles or sin)…
How do we respond to the leaders in our lives either in the home, church, or any other capacity in the body of Christ (writers, professors, conference speakers, etc)?
- We pray that people continue to walk with them and point them toward Christ, repentance, confession, forgiveness, and restoration.
- We pray with and for those who lead us in any capacity in the home, church, or body of Christ that they would humbly become aware or stay aware of their own tendencies toward anything less than Christlikeness in their desires, attitudes, and behavior.
- We speak words of kindness, comfort, and exhortation as needed.
- We follow with an awareness that the only perfect man in history died for all of us who are less-than-perfect followers.
- We embrace life together recognizing that we all have room to grow and change.
- We listen, read, and interact with truth and wisdom while recognizing that those who share it need it as well. It is easier to say and write than it is to live consistently. We are in this life striving to become like Christ in progress not as completed projects.
- We guard our own hearts as we see places where growth is needed in those around us.
- We ask the hard questions when necessary or when accusations are made against one of these leaders.
- We offer genuine help, authentic mutuality, and patient perseverance when a leader needs it.
Do I wish everyone who preaches, teaches, writes, or leads were perfect? Absolutely.
Do I wish I were? More than you can even know.
Until Christ comes, lets walk together humbly seeking to do the best we can together in Christ.
Where there is sin, momentary lack of wisdom, and apparent imperfection, please demonstrate grace and mercy along the pathway of seeking to provide help and hope.
Even on your pastor’s or another leader’s best day, remember that we all strive to walk in Christ together, humbling seeking to love God supremely, each other sincerely, and striving to become like Jesus Christ.
If you do not have a church home, feel free to worship with us either in-person or online at 10:00 AM CST. You can get directions online at www.sonrisebaptist.com or can join our service online.
KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together