Sympathy and Empathy as a Christian

On This Sunday… we take up the recent conversation that has been taking place online about sympathy and empathy as a Christian. A popular Christian pastor tweeted that “Empathy is a sin.” As you can imagine, many individuals took offense to this statement and the greater conversation began (often in 280 character statements).

As followers of Christ, may we both understand these terms, recognize how the Bible relates to them, and be as committed as ever to sympathy and empathy as followers of Christ.

Sympathy

Sympathy relates to feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. Both in the Old and New Testaments, followers of Christ are challenged to show sympathy toward those around them. Consider these key texts:

A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance; (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

⁹ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; ¹¹ not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; ¹² rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; ¹³ distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:9-15)

As a Christian, we understand that it is fitting to weep, mourn, laugh, and dance with others. Further, we rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

Empathy

Empathy relates to the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. “Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they must be feeling.”[1]

In terms of etymology, empathy is a new word versus sympathy, and is nuanced a bit differently. The goal of empathy is to consider someone else’s plight and, even when you do not share the same experience, seek to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Related to the Bible, the texts above fit for either word. Compassion flows from the heart which cares about the needs and concerns for another.

Jesus Is Our Example

Friends, as followers of Christ, we have Jesus as our greatest example. Paul points to the humility of Jesus that placed the concerns for others as greater than his own. Paul exhorts us:

³ Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. ⁴ Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. ⁵ Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, ⁶ who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, ⁷ but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

The heart of humility concerns itself with others. Love seeks to put the concerns of others as more important than the concerns of self.

Notice also what the author of Hebrews writes related to Jesus:

For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted. (Hebrews 2:18)

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Jesus demonstrates great compassion and sympathy toward us. He came to earth and literally put Himself in our shoes. He went through every kind of pressure-filled circumstances such that He now can offer us incredible grace from heaven.

Sympathy and Empathy as a Christian — So What’s the Big Deal?

It seems cut and dry. We should demonstrate sympathy and empathy as a Christian – just as Christ.

So why would a pastor tweet this week that empathy is sin?

Many people are currently using the term empathy to mean that we must not just simply listen, hear, seek to understand, and demonstrate compassion for someone else’s suffering; but instead, we must also agree with them.

Let me give you an example. A black person recently received poor service from a particular institution. This person got eyeoff the phone and was convinced that he was treated the way he was because he was black. Knowing a little bit about the policies and company, I know for a fact that his assessment was not true. The company followed their policy to the letter. I had in fact received similar treatment myself when addressing the same grievance. However, his past experience influenced him to draw the conclusion that they said “no” to his request because he was black.

As a follower of Christ, I need to listen, care, and seek to walk with my brother-in-Christ with compassion – sympathy and empathy. My heart must consider his circumstances and his past experience. However, although his perspective is real, in this instance, the racism is not. He assumes something that is not true. In the way that some are using empathy, they would say that we believe the person at face value and agree with this person’s assessment of the situation – regardless of fact. Simply because it is true to this man, it is true.

This pastor who wrote that empathy is a sin had this in mind. His reasoning goes, if he were to agree with a person’s perspective that is blatantly wrong, then he would be agreeing to what is wrong. In that nuanced instance, he would say that empathy is sin because you are agreeing with something that is a false narrative. No matter how the person feels, the person is wrong on the basis of fact.

How Do We Move Forward?

Let me suggest that this pastor unwisely sought to say in a tweet in a very nuanced manner what he thought was incredibly clear but wasn’t. Empathy as it relates to the historical use of the word and as almost every Christian uses it is never a sin. We do seek to listen, hear, seek to understand, and demonstrate compassion for someone else’s suffering. In essence, we do seek to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

Back to my example. In that instance, I do employ every ounce of my being to practice compassion – both empathy and sympathy. As a brother, an ambassador, and follower of Christ, I want to serve this person from a heart full of love. However, I also am to practice the one-anothers with this brother as well. I can’t agree with his ultimate assessment because I know the assessment is not true. However, my goal is not to simply correct my friend. My goal is to listen to him, communicate my care, and walk with him through what he perceives.

This is what we have called through the ages conversation. You might call it a Gospel-centered or Christ-centered conversation. You may refer to it as seeking to incarnate Christ to this brother in this particular situation. I must interact, engage, seek to understand, and seek to be understood as a fellow Christian. But as Christ, He did not come and agree with our misunderstanding of our situation. Christ came in love, demonstrated love, and engaged in love full of grace and truth.

Sympathy – yes.
Empathy – yes.
Loving care and compassion – yes.
Grace and truth – yes.

At the end of the day, we had a conversation regarding his perspective, my perspective, and what in fact happened.

There is only a problem here if you conflate empathy with total agreement. Truth always matters. Facts matter. But they matter as a part of a conversation that includes love, compassion, sympathy, and empathy.

A Warning…

If you do not have a church home, feel free to worship with us either in-person or online at 10:00 AM CST. You can get directions online at www.sonrisebaptist.com or can join our service online.

Image Credit Priscilla Du Preez

KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together

© 2021 KEVINCARSON.COM