Why am I so frustrated?

Why do you get so frustrated? People often ask the question to me in counseling, “Why am I so frustrated?”

When you look at the world around you, frustration comes easy. When you notice other people’s suffering, unjust politics, and other people sinning around you, frustration begins to grow – or that is at least the natural inclination. A broken world influences us toward an equally broken response.

As we look around at the broken world, in every person there exists a nagging question, “Why?” Other questions often also arise out of these observations including: “What sense can I make of this?” “Why do bad things happen?” “What is the ultimate meaning of life?” “Why should I continue on with life like this?”

Why am I so frustrated?

King Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived, gives you the beginning answer to this question. Consider what he writes in Ecclesiastes:

¹² I, the Preacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. ¹³ And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised. ¹⁴ I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.

¹⁵ What is crooked cannot be made straight,
And what is lacking cannot be numbered.

¹⁶ I communed with my heart, saying, “Look, I have attained greatness, and have gained more wisdom than all who were before me in Jerusalem. My heart has understood great wisdom and knowledge.” ¹⁷ And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.

¹⁸ For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. (Eccl 1:12-18)

Solomon had many of the same questions and burning pursuits to understand that you do as well.

Solomon’s conclusion is as yours – all is vanity and is grasping for the wind. The word vanity in this context means frustratingly enigmatic. When you seek to know these things, you come back to the same conclusion – the answer escapes you. This leaves you frustrated because both 1) your world does not work out the way that you want it to do so, and 2) you do not understand why.

This Burdensome Task

Do not miss this key point in the text. Solomon says the desire for you to make sense out of your world, to know the ins-and-outs, and to be able to get purpose out of all of it comes from God. As a creation or creature of God – one who is in His image, you sense the world around you. You have nagging questions that beg for answers. You have these questions because as an imagebearer, you can’t help but have them. In other words, you seek to interpret the world around you, strive to make sense of what you observe, and fight to understand the various nuances of life. You do these things because you are human.

The problem, as Solomon explains, remains. “What is lacking cannot be numbered.” “What is crooked cannot be made straight.” From your vantage point as a person, you cannot see enough of the pieces to appropriately put it in a formula or an interpretation that actually works. At some point, no matter how you seek to figure the world out, there remains elements of it that for which you will not be able to explain accurately or fit in your system. At this point, you end up frustrated since life is enigmatic. The elusive nature of an accurate answer is like chasing after the wind while trying to catch it.

Questions Remain

The nagging questions remain. Although you seek to put everything into your personal formula for understanding life – as crude or developed as that formula may be – you find that you still do not understand. The best efforts still fall short of making sense out of all of it.

• A former NFL player kills a doctor, his family, and his a/c repairman. Why?
• A crowd, upon hearing bad news about injustice, riot and burn a town, hurt others’ property, and cause suffering. Why?
• A father commits incest with his very underaged children. What is the guy thinking and doing?
• A husband pursues an adulterous relationship. What?
• A house catches on fire where lives are lost. Why?
• Now add political questions, financial questions, vocational questions, and on and on this list goes.

You desire to make sense out of it yet you cannot. You think you figure one part out, but then other parts remain.

The Conclusion of the Whole Matter

As the creation of God and being in His image, God made you to pursue these answers. The burning question then becomes: Why did God make us this way?

Solomon provides that answer for us. Consider his final conclusion:

¹³ Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
¹⁴ For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil. (Eccl 12:13-14)

Solomon concludes the book with the ultimate answer to these questions. Since you do not have enough pieces, you can’t get a high enough vantage point to see how everything fits together (cf., Eccl 3:1-15), and you never know what comes next in life whether it be prosperity or adversity (cf., Eccl 7:13-18), the only thing left for you to do is fear God and keep His commandments.

To fear God means that you trust Him. You respect His right to rule and reign from a holy, righteous, just, and loving perspective. Although it is impossible for you to see these things and make sense of them, you simply trust God. Although you still have nagging questions, you trust both 1) that it all works out perfectly in the character of God, and 2) you can rest not knowing the answer since you do not have His perspective. In one sense, it is like the young child who just needs to trust a parent that touching certain things will cause the child harm even though the child does not have enough perspective to understand electricity, conduction, or engineering.

To keep God’s commandments are wise. Since you know you cannot trust your own interpretation of the world around you, then simply obey the One Who does understand it. Do what God says to do and you will put yourself in the strongest position. Essentially, you nor I need to understand everything going on around us in order to simply obey what God tells us to do. We read the Bible, learn God’s ways, and then follow them – even regardless that we cannot put everything together always. That is Solomon’s point – since you cannot know, just trust and obey God throughout life. Back to the illustration of the young child and parent. The child needs to obey even though the child does not understand it all. Since the child trusts the character of the parent, simple obedience places the child in the safest and best place.

Why then am I so frustrated?

Your frustration stems from seeking to make sense of your world without trusting God.

What can you do about it?

Step one: Trust God, respect His authority, rule, and reign in your life

Step two: Keep His Commandments

 

Image Credit Tim Gouw