As I sat recently and listened to a friend of mine talk about a man named Epaphras, I kept asking myself, What kind of friend am I? My friend Steve pointed out several key components related to Epaphras’ life. As I listened, I was struck by a component of his life that can be applied to my life as well as yours. Since you love and care for your friends, no doubt, you are interested in this question as well, What kind of friend are you?
Why is Epaphras important?
Years ago – centuries before you or I were born – Epaphras started a couple of churches. More than likely, he helped plant the church at Colossea and Laodicea. He may have helped start one in Hierapolis too. All three cities were located in the Lycus Valley in modern day western Turkey. All the churches of the Lycus Valley faced major threats from dangerous theological heresy. Of course, Epaphras cared for these churches and more importantly his friends in those churches.
The Apostle Paul described Epaphras’ care for his friends. Consider these words:
12 Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. 13 For I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you, and those who are in Laodicea, and those in Hierapolis. (Colossians 4:12-13)
In this text, Epaphras demonstrates his great love and concern for his friends specifically through prayer.
In addition to the many ways you can be a friend, let me suggest one of the greatest is by praying for your friends. Notice with me a few key details…
Praying for Your Friends
1. Take Prayer For Your Friend Very Seriously
When Paul describes Epaphras’ prayer, he describes it as always laboring fervently. In other words, Epaphras always struggled in prayer for his friends whom he loved. Various Bible translations translate this as “prays hard for you,” and “never stops battling for you.” The word itself is translated contending, wrestling, and agonizing. In verse thirteen, Paul relates that he has worked hard for you. This may include many things, but for sure as it sits in this sentence also includes prayer. He prays strenuously for his friends whom he loves.
Both understanding the challenges in living with various pressures of many kinds along with evil in the world, a friend prays hard for another friend. We do not simply run in and out of God’s presence quickly. As we pray, we do not simply pray, “Lord be with them today.” God will be with them. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. Therefore, we do not pray what God already does – almost a thoughtless or careless prayer. Instead, we pray hard. In prayer, we bring our friends before God and think through their particular cares and concerns. We consider them individually; then, we pray in light of what we have thought through.
Maybe at any particular time it only takes a moment. However, throughout a day, when we add those many moments together, we find that we have prayed hard for the individual. If you get carried away in various projects, you could set an hourly alarm where as it buzzes, you think through those individuals that are especially on your mind or heart for the day.
2. Pray with Clear Intentional Requests
As I implied earlier, Epaphras does not simply pray a generic prayer for his friends. He specifically and intentionally prays with a goal in mind.
What is Epaphras’ goal or the content of his prayer? That his friends would stand mature/complete, emotionally balanced in their walk with Jesus Christ, and committed to doing His will even in the midst of tough circumstances. In other words, he desired his friends to be strong in their faith, well-connected to Jesus Christ with all their hearts, and living a life that honors Christ in their circumstances.
I appreciate one author who wrote as those who are mature in Christ, Epaphras prays “that there should be an emotional depth and balance to their faith (“fully assured”), and that it should express itself in daily conduct where doing the will of God was the primary objective and yardstick…[1]
This intentional prayer for 1) stability of the faith, 2) contentment in Christ, and 3) obedience to God’s will demonstrates true care for a friend. In the midst of troubling circumstances and pressures (in these cities, false doctrine – in your friend’s life, could be any kind of pressure), this prayer represents what truly matters. Only those who obey God’s will can realize the joy God intends for them in this life. Furthermore, as obedient, they increasingly grow in contentment and into their relationship with Christ.
What Kind of Friend Are You?
What kind of friend are you? Do you strive/wrestle/contend in prayer for your friend? Your friend’s faith? Maturity? Endurance? Emotional stability in Christ? and Obedience to God’s will?
I hope so.
There may be a handful of people that you pray for every day. I have some friends that I almost never (trying to be honest, but hardly ever) miss a day of praying for them. For many, you pray as you are aware of concerns or as they come to mind. This group will be even greater. For me, I allow social media to help inform those prayers. As I see various posts from friends, they help direct my prayer.
Once again, what kind of friend are you? I realize there are many ways that you can answer this question. Friendship includes many different areas. However, where, when, and how you pray for your friends does speak to your friendship. Are you willing to take it up a notch and strive earnestly in prayer for your friends?
[1]James D. G. Dunn, The Epistles to the Colossians and to Philemon: A Commentary on the Greek Text, New International Greek Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Carlisle: William B. Eerdmans Publishing; Paternoster Press, 1996), 281.
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