When You Disagree with Someone Else (#OneMinuteMondays)

Many time in families, friend groups, churches, communities, and among coworkers, people disagree with each other. Sometimes the disagreement relates to a specific religious position or practice, some type of personal preference, or a matter of personal opinion. Because of that, the question arises, “What do we do when we disagree with each other?”

If you disagree with someone, consider the following three principles:

Be Committed to Ephesians 4:1-6

Paul spells out the following five attitudes for walking worthy of the Gospel. The follower of Jesus Christ must walk in humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance in love, and endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Notice these five key attitudes as the believer walks in the Lord.

• Humility – This involves considering the other person’s interests as greater than your own.
• Gentleness – This means you practices self-control with kindness when dealing with another person.
• Patience – If there is sin, the follower of Christ exhibits a long fuse with the other individual.
• Forbearance in love – Where there is a disagreement over preferences, the believer “puts up with” the other person in love, even if he or she does not particularly care for the other person or their preferences.
• Endeavoring to Keep the Unity of the Spirit in the Bond of Peace – Here the Christ-follower seeks to protect the great gains given by Christ through His death on the cross of peace and unity between neighbors and all with God.

Strive to Live Peaceably with All Men (Rom 12:18)

Again, Paul helps us as we consider dealing with those with whom we disagree. He writes, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Rom 12:18). Notice Paul’s explanation here: as much as depends on you. The disposition and attitude of the other person should not matter. In fact, even though the other person is wrong should not matter either. If someone has a wrong theological viewpoint, the follower of Christ who seeks to live consistent with Romans 12:1-2, where he or she evaluates every attitude, thought, word, or deed according to the Bible, should seek to honor God more than win an argument.

Discuss the Problem; Do Not Attack the Person (Eph 4:29)

After you listen carefully to the person with whom you disagree (James 3:17), then be sure to discuss the problem alone. Often disagreements turn personal when one of the two individuals attack the other person instead of sticking to the actual disagreement. Ways to attack the other person may be like these:

“I’ve never seen someone think something so stupid.”

“You make no sense at all. How can you even think this?”

“I’ve never heard someone say something so wrong.”

“You are so dumb.”

“If you really believe that, you are nothing but a …”

These are just a few examples of many. Instead, stick to the issue at hand.

“Help me make sure that I am hearing you correctly. Are you saying…”

“I’m trying to understand you because I care about your perspective. Just so I’m not confused…”

“What questions do you have about my position that I can help explain?”