On this Valentine’s Day, behind the words, “I love you.”

Many loved ones will share the heartfelt sentiments of “I love you” with someone else on this day. From every walk of life, including all the pressures of life and relationships, these words will take a meaningful place among the day’s festivities. For some, these words will reflect more of a romantic sense; for others, these words will be backed up by a lifetime of love. But regardless of who says these words, they do have meaning.

Love is the selfless care, concern, and subsequent action for another person which is motivated by and models Christ’s love.

Let me share six simple thoughts for you to consider regarding true love.

Behind the Words, “I Love You.”

Love imitates Christ’s love (Ephesians 5:1-2).

To imitate means to copy or mimic something. As followers of Christ, we mimic His love toward others. True love acts selflessly and puts the cares and concerns of others first, which in turn, pleases or honors God.

Love puts the other person first (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

With the love of Jesus motivating our love for Him and others, we choose not to live for self and self-pleasure, but instead, choose to live for Christ and others.

Love never harms the other person; instead, it seeks to bring the other person pleasure (Romans 13:8-10).

Our obligation to others is to love them by bringing them greater pleasure in life, to help them feel our love. What can we do so that our neighbor, whom we love, is blessed, encouraged, and refreshed? Furthermore, we do everything in our power not to harm or hurt our neighbor.

Love prioritizes giving not receiving (John 3:16).

If we are going to practice true love, our intentions must be toward giving instead of receiving (cf. 1 Cor 7:1-5). It is so easy to be driven more by the gifts we receive than primarily finding pleasure in giving. Often we are distracted when we do not receive what we personally want in a particular relationship or from a particular person, which in turn encourages selfish, less-than-loving, responses from us toward him or her.

Love remains consistent (1 John 4:10; 2 Corinthians 5:21).

We didn’t deserve God’s love. He loved us and Jesus became the wrath-bearing sacrifice for us – before we ever loved Him. We deserved His judgment, wrath, and, ultimately, condemnation. Yet, God still chose to love us despite what we deserved. God’s love is contraconditional; it is in spite of what we deserve. God loves us and treats us like Christ; He placed our sin on Jesus, Who ultimately paid for them. This is why it is important to consistently love. Regardless of what is deserved or is not deserved by the other person, you love others consistently.

Love originates in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

True love is produced by the Spirit Who lives in you. When you have a hard time loving, recognize, that is the time you need to consider if you are walking in the Spirit or are living by the flesh. Paul explained that God grants us daily opportunities to lovingly serve those around us. We must choose then to lovingly serve rather than taking the energy God provides us daily and serve ourselves (Gal 5:13).

So, before you go tell someone you love him or her…

• Have you made the choice to truly love someone or are you struggling instead with love of self?
• Do you love from a desire / decision to put the other person first?
• Does your love seek to bring another person pleasure or does your love harm the other person?
• Do you love because of what you get out of it, or do you love because of what you can give?
• Does your love ever depend upon the other person “deserving” it, or is it contraconditional love like Christ’s?
• Does your love reflect the beauty of walking in the Spirit or is it consistent with walking in the flesh?

Now, go tell your special person you love him or her, and, with the passion of Christ, mean it and live it!