How does Iron Sharpening Iron Work?

Today, I sat down with a group of friends to work through some conflict. Thankfully, the conflict did not pertain to my family, the church, or the school; however, it did relate to something all these men and I had in common. Long story short: although dealing with a sensitive topic on which there is disagreement, I ended the call with an incredible amount of respect, gratitude, and sense of gladness. With this in mind, how exactly does “Iron sharpening Iron” work? (Proverbs 27:17) 

 

Observations from the Meeting

This group of godly friends and I met this morning. In the course of the meeting, I stopped and rejoiced in God’s kindness to have such friends. Although we were working with some conflict, I couldn’t help but rejoice in God’s goodness in these friends.

 

The Motivation

The motivation of the conversation was the glory of God. All of us were committed to saying and doing what was right in relationship with God (First Great Commandment) and others (Second Great Commandment).

 

The Tone

We specifically talked with each other about our tone. None of us wanted to communicate anywhere in the disagreement anything less than a Christ-exalting tone with each other. Our tone needed to reflect our motivation for meeting together.

 

The Gossip

As we started to talk, the first gentlemen set the stage for protecting each one of us from gossip. He asked what we knew in a general sense to make sure that we were not gossiping to each other as part of the conversation. Although we discussed key aspects of conversations and behavior, we made sure we were not passing on gossip to each other. We carefully answered this question individually, “Am I part of the problem or the solution?” With this question in mind, we treaded carefully through the discussion, guarding against gossip.

 

The Relationship

All of us in this conversation follow Jesus Christ. Further, we strive to use any knowledge, skill, or ability we have to serve others too. All of us are pastors, authors, speakers, and biblical counselors. Most importantly, we are brothers in Christ, unified in purpose, and committed to godliness. The meeting began with statements of joy just to spend time together.

 

The Process

As we went about seeking to answer the dilemma of the conflict, three passages were clearly evident in our deliberations.

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him (Luke 17:3-4).

 

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).

 

He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him (Prov 18:13).

 

With these three commitments, we went about seeking to deal with the disunity and disagreements. 

 

The Gratitude

As the conversation ended, after starting the meeting in prayer and ending the meeting in prayer, I could not help but be full of gratitude. We had discussed a sticky issue, veered clear of sin, and made some progress in the disagreement.

What made me so grateful and happy? Because the men that I talked with followed the First Great Commandment and the Second Great Commandment. In the process, they encouraged me to do so as well. We enjoyed biblical fellowship together, while still seeking to maintain our unity in the midst of a high-pressured moment.

So why write about this meeting? Because what happened on a lazy Friday morning between friends can should happen for each of us everyday as we engage those around us in Christ.

Hopefully you were encouraged reading about it as I was in participating with these other gracious men.