Begin with a Flexible Spirit

Are you flexible? What would the folks around you say? The ones you work with? Your family? Various church members? Are you known for your ability to adapt and change – whether that is your mind, your desires, your attitude, or your actions? Here’s the bigger question: Do you have the ability to adapt or change out of confidence in God’s sovereign control, His authority, and His presence? Then, begin with a flexible spirit.

Flexibility Begins with Humility

If you choose to be flexible with another person or situation in various circumstances, it begins with humility. In this case, humility stems from two key passages:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others (Phil 2:3-4).

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Eph 4:1-3).

In both texts, humility provides the foundation for seeing the other person’s point of view and/or the willingness to change in light of the other person.

Flexibility Depends upon God’s Control

When we recognize that God is in control, we release our grip on our plans demonstrate flexibility. Consider what James teaches in relationship to tough circumstances:

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:14-15).

Here, we recognize that God limits, directs, and controls our pressure-filled circumstances with the goal of us becoming mature in Christ (cf., James 1:2-5, 17-18).

*Self-Reflection Questions*

1. What ability do I have to deal graciously and creatively with the unexpected (Habakkuk 3: 17-19)?
2. To what extent do I value others? How well do I use their gifts and ideas?
3. To what degree do I show confidence in God’s control of each detail of life?
4. How willing am I to take risks, experiment, re-evaluate and change?
5. To what extent do I insist on my own way—forcibly or by manipulation?
6. How much do I ‘feel the need’ to be in control-moving back and forth between dominating and fearing?
7. To what degree am I open to help and/or criticism? How open am I to discover and learn new things about myself, God’s will and his ways?
8. To what extent am I too controlled by the opinions of others? Do I constantly wonder what others will think if I follow a course of action?
9. What effect do other people’s demands or agendas have on me?
10. To what extent does a desire to please other people shape what I say to them or how I say it?
11. How hesitant am I to assert what is important if I think it might displease, hurt or anger someone? How hesitant am I to push where the Scripture says to push?
12. Do I tend to be diverted by the crisis of the moment instead of moving with a sense of biblical direction?

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* From Paul Tripp’s Essential Qualities of a Biblical Counselor

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