Have you ever felt the deep sense of loss of a broken relationship? Perhaps a harsh word, a misunderstanding, or a betrayal has strained a friendship, family bond, or church connection. In a world marked by division and conflict, God calls us to a higher standard: to love one another as Christ loves us. As a pastor and counselor, I have walked with many believers through the pain of fractured relationships, and I have seen the beauty of God’s redemptive work when we obey His command to love and forgive. Today, in this post, “Loving One Another Well: Help for Restoring Broken Relationships,” let us explore practical, Christ-centered help for mending what is broken, grounded in Scripture, with steps to love one another well.

A Powerful Text on Loving One Another

As Jesus wraps up His earthly ministry with the disciples, He gives them (and us as His disciples as well) a clear command in John 13:34-35:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

The standard of our love for one another is the love of Jesus Christ toward us. This love is not a mere feeling but an active choice to reflect Christ’s sacrificial love. When relationships break, our natural response might be to withdraw, harbor resentment, or demand our rights. Yet, Jesus calls us to love as He loves – humbly, selflessly, and redemptively. What is even greater as disciples of Jesus, our love becomes a testimony to the world of our identity with Him.

Understanding Broken Relationships

Broken relationships often stem from pride, miscommunication, or unmet expectations. Throughout many years in ministry, I have seen how quickly a small offense can grow into a deep divide. A husband and wife stop listening to each other, a friend feels betrayed by a careless comment, or church members take sides over a disagreement. The enemy delights in these divisions, but God desires unity among His people. A small crack in a relationship becomes a fissure under the pressures of life. Many times neither party likes what has happened, yet often fail to do anything about it or do not know what to do about it. Without any doubt, unity is not automatic; it requires intentional obedience to God’s Word as we seek to restore what is broken. The psalmist reminds us, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Ps 133:1).

Consider the story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis 37-50. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery out of jealousy, a betrayal that caused years of pain. Yet, when famine brought them back together, Joseph did not respond with bitterness. Genesis 50:20-21 records his words: “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Joseph chose forgiveness and love, seeing God’s redemptive plan even in his suffering. His story offers help for us today: when relationships break, will we trust God to work for good and choose love over resentment?

Restoring Broken Relationships

How, then, can we find help to love one another well and restore broken relationships? Let me suggest three biblical principles to guide us.

First, approach with humility. Philippians 2:3 instructs, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Humility means setting aside our pride and considering the other person’s perspective. Often I ask couples to list three ways they may have contributed to a conflict. This exercise shifts the focus from blame to self-reflection. Before addressing a broken relationship, pray for a humble heart. Ask God to show you any ways you may have sinned or misunderstood the other person. Humility opens the door to restoration.

Second, communicate with honesty and grace. The Apostle Paul encourages us to speak “the truth in love,” that we may “grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ” (Eph 4:15). Honest communication is vital, but it must be seasoned with love. I often refer to this kind of love as similar to coating on an aspirin. The coating makes it possible to take it and be helped by it. I recall one young counselee, whom I will call Emily, who felt hurt by a friend’s repeated cancellations. Instead of assuming the worst, Emily prayerfully approached her friend, sharing her feelings with gentleness. She learned her friend was struggling with deep discouragement, and their honest conversation led to mutual support and a restored friendship. When addressing a conflict, speak truth, but do so with kindness, seeking to build up rather than tear down.

Third, forgive as Christ forgives. Again, we turn to the Apostle Paul where he instructs, “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col 3:13). Forgiveness does not excuse sin, but it releases the offender from the debt we feel they owe us. We each need to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You may need to pray daily, “Lord, I choose to forgive as You have forgiven me.” Over time, God helps your heart. Both as a counselor and biblical counselor, I have had a front row seat to see estranged siblings reunite, marriages mend, and church unity restored when forgiveness becomes the foundation of love.

Taking a Step toward Restoration

Restoring broken relationships is not easy, but God offers help through His Word and Spirit! God invites you to take a step of obedience today. Identify one strained relationship in your life. Pray for humility. Plan a gracious conversation. And, choose forgiveness. As you obey God’s command to love, trust Him to work in both your heart and the other person’s.

As each one of us consider what may need to be our next step, let us remember the promise of 1 John 4:11-12: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.” When we love one another well, God’s love shines through us, drawing others to Him. May we be known as Christ’s disciples by our love, finding help in His Word to restore what is broken.