Headlines bemoan the untimely death this week of Kate Spade, famous American designer of accessories. To have a Kate Spade bag was a coming-to-age phenomena for so many girls of the ’90s. She left the design business for around a decade to begin raising her daughter with her husband Andy. Over the past 5 or 6 years, she has struggled with depression and anxiety.

I will have much more to say about suicide in a forthcoming blog. Today I want to make just a couple of simple points as you contemplate the news story.

If you struggle with depression or anxiety, talk to someone.

Left alone, often people spiral downward as they struggle the internal feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression. You need the voices of others who love you and are concerned about you to help you make sense of your world. The best choice by far would be to talk with a biblical counselor. A biblical counselor is one who will look to the Bible for the necessary answers provided by God and point you to a Christ-centered, God-honoring solution. (For a list of certified biblical counselors in your area: ACBC or IABC.)

Understand that everyone struggles in one way or another.

You are not alone in your suffering. You may feel alone. You may not have told anyone, so in your personal way you are alone. But in terms of suffering, everyone suffers. You do not know what the person next to you has or is going through, just as that person does not know about you. The reality of life on earth is that people suffer and sin. Often the lies we convince ourselves are true in depression include that you are the only one who suffers, no one can understand, no one has had it as bad as you, and you will never change. But friend, these are really only lies. You need the outside voice of loving others to help you.

You cannot look at another person and know the full story. One person made the following analogy this week:

Life is often like a Kate Spade bag. It can be extraordinarily beautiful on the outside. But on the inside, it can be a very different picture. Sometimes it is neat and organized. But other times, it is cluttered. A mess. Out of control. Lipstick everywhere. Change strewn about. Old snacks. Wadded up Kleenexes. We expect that the inside of the purse reflects what is going on outside. We are surprised and upset when this is not the case.

The reality is this – to use another analogy: you can’t judge any book just by its cover. The people around you may suffer just as you. In fact, they do suffer. You are just unaware of what their area of suffering is.

Realize that your reputation is not worth more than your life nor the opportunity to honor God in your life.

The tragic story of Kate Spade, as told by her sister, Reta Saffo, in the Kansas City Star, is that she cared more about her public reputation than she did getting help. “Sometimes you simply cannot SAVE people from themselves!” Spade seemed concerned how hospitalization might harm the image of the “happy-go-lucky” Kate Spade brand, Saffo said.

This is so not true. Your reputation is important (Eccl 7:1); however, your reputation includes how you respond to suffering. When depressed, seeking help is a positive thing. Asking for someone else to speak into your life is good. The Bible expects the wise person to talk with others, engage truth, and grow toward Christlikeness (Eph 4:11-16). Getting help does not make you lose your reputation, rather it enhances your reputation. People who love and care for you will rejoice with you if they found out about you needing and seeking help. True friends want what is best for you and will not judge you for seeking the help you need to work through the struggle.

True godliness is lived in the every day moments.

This is the point that I made in yesterday’s blog. I strongly urge you to take a few moments to consider this idea. I wrote:

For the Christian, life is to be lived in the moment, the mundane, this circumstance, and this instance (Rom 12:1-2; Heb 12:1-2). God is to received the glory now in this small moment that God has given us (1 Cor 10:31). The two most important commands are to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:36-40). Our goal is to be light and salt in a dark world (Matt 5:13-14).

Praise God He uses each of us in these moments of life.

Regardless of your level of suffering today, your goals are simple – live through it and honor God in it. Embrace the moment even in suffering to see this as an opportunity rather than a curse or a demon. See this moment of suffering as an opportunity for God to demonstrate His marvelous grace in and through you. Paul wrote, “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor 12:7-10; cf., Rom 5:3-5; 2 Cor 4:7-12).

Our ultimate hope is in Jesus Christ and the grace He provides us daily.

Friend, if you are suffering today or know someone suffering today, please seek help. You are not alone.

KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together

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