What does the Bible teach about masturbation?

Kevin

6 years ago

What does the Bible teach about masturbation or self-masturbation? Is it a sin to self-masturbate? Is masturbation permissible according to the Bible? Both married and single individuals, as well as both men and women, frequently discuss this issue in counseling. Masturbation involves sexually arousing yourself by touching your genitals, often to the point of orgasm or climax. Both men and women can masturbate, and you can masturbate yourself or your spouse. For the sake of this article, when discussing masturbation, I refer to self-masturbation – independent acts apart from one’s spouse, except for where otherwise stated.

Many secular authors, as well as Christian pastors and authors, suggest that masturbation reflects normal human functioning or human development. Medical professionals agree that masturbation causes no physical harm. Psychologists and sex experts propose that masturbation may enhance one’s life in any number of ways. Further, both Christians and non-Christians often advise that masturbation is the safest sex and is better than adultery. In spite of these potentially positive connotations to masturbation, the Christ-follower must determine both if it is a sin to masturbate and, if it is not, if it is wise to masturbate.

Today we focus on “What does the Bible teach about masturbation?”

Does the Bible mention Masturbation?

Masturbation as a term or a specific practice does not appear nor is it described explicitly in the Bible. The Bible is essentially silent as it relates to masturbation.

Some pastors and biblical commentators throughout history have incorrectly pointed to Onan (Gen 38:6-10). In this narrative, Judah’s firstborn son married Tamar but died soon after leaving Tamar a widow. Judah than commanded his second son Onan to enter into a levirate marriage with Tamar, which is where the brother of the deceased man marries his brother’s widow for purposes of an heir or offspring. However, as Onan and Tamar had intercourse, because Onan knew that the heir would not be his, he chose to ejaculate on the ground. As the narrative continues, the Bible says, “And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also” (Gen 3:10).

Some point to this text to suggest that Onan received punishment by God because he ejaculated on the ground. Thus, they refer to this as a reference to masturbation. However, Onan died because he his unwillingness to enter into a levirate marriage with Tamar. He selfishly chose to disobey both God and his father Judah, which also left Tamar without an heir. Contextually, this is what displeased God and for which he was disciplined, not masturbation.

Is masturbation sinful, unwise, or permissible?

In the previous blog, I developed six questions to consider related to sexual activity in marriage. These six questions help identify whether a particular act in marriage is sinful, unwise, or permissible. They provide us guidance as we answer this question (some of the responses are similar to the previous blog).

Is it required or prohibited in the Bible? Here we seek direct evidence from the Scriptures that provides specific direction as to whether an act is sanctioned and required or forbidden. The Bible never mentions masturbation. We want to exercise extreme caution then. As followers of Christ, we should not declare a particular thing sin when the Bible does not call it a sin, nor should we ever declare a specific thing not a sin if in fact the Bible does declare it a sin. In this case, the Bible never mentions it. Therefore, we cannot turn to a particular verse and specifically call masturbation a sin. Although it would be nice to have a specific verse to determine its sinfulness, there are additional criteria to help us discern if in fact masturbation is a sin. Is it required or prohibited in the Bible? No
Is it unnatural? There is nothing related to a husband’s or wife’s physiology that suggests masturbation is unnatural. Is it unnatural? No.
Is it unhealthy or could it cause harm? Is it unloving? As discussed in the previous blog, this issue relates to love. Love seeks the highest good of the neighbor; that is, whatever is best and that which does not harm physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. In consideration of self-masturbation, inherently it is neither unhealthy or can cause harm. (However, there are incidences when people have inflicted self-harm in the means of masturbation.) If the husband and wife in marriage mutually satisfy the other spouse by masturbation and one of them has a sexually transmitted disease caution would be necessary. Is it unhealthy or could it cause harm? Is it unloving? No
Is it unkind? Is it unloving? This question relates to a different expression of love; mainly, is it kind? Wherever there is anything unkind in the sexual relationship, the lack of kindness or the failure to show love is wrong. If in an effort to be pleased, a husband or wife demands either mutual masturbation or approval to self-masturbate from the other spouse when the spouse does not want to participate or disagrees, that would be unkind and unloving. If there is however no demand, and both the husband and the wife would want to participate together, then mutual masturbation would not be either unkind or unloving. In fact, in certain incidences, it may be loving for a spouse to offer to bring his or her spouse to orgasm through masturbation. Is it unkind? Is it unloving? No, not particularly.
Is it against the conscience of the spouse? If a desired activity by either spouse is not consistent with the conscience of the other spouse, then the request for the sexual act needs to be dropped. If the spouse with the bothered conscience is coerced in participating, the manipulating spouse has encouraged sin. To do anything against one’s conscience is sin; in other words, to not be able to do something in faith is sin (Rom 14:19-23). Therefore, if either spouse does not want to participate in mutual masturbation because of conscience, then the only thing in this instance that honors God is to pass on that request. Is it against the conscience of the spouse? Depends, each case would be different.
What is your motive? What is the condition of your heart? This final question relates to the motive of the one seeking a particular sex act. (I have discussed this earlier here, here, and here.) As we wrote in the earlier blog, consider these questions. Why does he or she want to do this? Is it love? Is it motivated by the desire to give? Does it fulfill the purpose of glorifying God? Will it enhance the worship experience of sex together? Or are there other motives? Is it driven by selfishness? Is it driven by the lust of the flesh?In the instance of self-masturbation, this question proves to be problematic. What drives the desire to self-masturbate? The answer always seems to go back to a desire for self-pleasure or self-satisfaction. Whereas God created sexual expression to be shared exclusively with a spouse, self-masturbation instead is a manifestation of the lust of the flesh. Furthermore, self-masturbation does not enhance nor is it consistent with self-control as part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-25). As a growing Christian in the image of Christ, one should practice self-control in this area. Paul writes, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; (1 Thess 4:3-5). Instead of being controlled by lust, the one who loves Jesus Christ should control his or her own body for the sake of the glory of God. Furthermore, most self-masturbation accompanies fantasies. Those fantasies essentially make the one that you fantasize an object of your own mind and worship. To fantasize about another person minimizes and negates the importance of that other person, who is made in the image of God. Making another person the object of your personal fantasy cannot pass for a God-honoring, Christ-exalting motive.What is your motive? What is the condition of your heart? Self-Masturbation is a manifestation of the flesh, not consistent with the fruit of the Spirit.

Is Masturbation Sinful?

What makes a particular act sinful?

If the Bible prohibits it (question one), it is sinful. In this case, the Bible does not prohibit it by name. or description.
If you answer “Yes” to any of the questions two through five, then the act is sinful. In this case, it is not unnatural, unhealthy, unkind, nor unloving. Although, it possibly could be against the conscience of the spouse.
If your motive is wrong (question six), then it is sinful. Self-masturbation reflects the lusts of the flesh and is not consistent with the fruit of the Spirit. The motive is wrong.

Is self-masturbation sinful? Yes, but see below

Is mutual masturbation sinful within the confines of marriage? No, but it possibly could be depending upon answer five

Are there ever any situations where self-masturbation could be loving and not sinful?

I want to address two issues that I have often heard in counseling related to self-masturbation.

Would it not be more loving to self-masturbate instead of committing adultery?

This is a great question. I appreciate the spouse’s concern for marital fidelity. In this incident, the spouse is saying that if I do not get to self-masturbate and enjoy the feelings associated with it, I will probably commit adultery. Therefore, this seems like the best of the two options. I believe there are a couple of key questions to consider related to this matter. First, what is the motive? The motive is still selfish. The goal of masturbation is self-pleasure. The spouse is saying, “I want to have an orgasm to feel good, but my spouse is not willing or cannot help me. Therefore, I will take matters in my own hand to please myself.” Second, it is right to commit one sin in order to protect yourself from committing a different sin? This is an issue of “the ends justifies the means.” Is it ever right to commit sin? No. The way the question as worded minimizes the grace God provides to enable you to get through any pressure-filled circumstance in a God-honoring way without sin (1 Cor 10:13). God’s grace empowers you to say no to the flesh and instead yield your body as members of righteousness (Rom 6:11-14). You can say “No” to self-masturbation, say “No” to adultery, and say “Yes” to loving God and your spouse.

What if my spouse is away from me and we cannot be together?

This is another great question. There are times when a husband and wife are separated by miles, such as an out-of-town business trip or military deployment. In these situations, it would be possible for a husband and wife to both self-masturbate together in a way that is honoring to God. As discussed above, mutual masturbation – where the husband and wife both satisfy each other through non-intercourse stimulation – does honor God, as long as one spouse does not say “No” or has a problem of conscience. In the same way, self-masturbation would also be God-honoring when a husband and wife together self-masturbate in an effort to please each other, even though the spouse is not physically present. In this case, the husband and wife together rejoice in each other, desire to please each other as a celebration of their relationship together, recognize the kindness of God to have each other as spouses, and understand the benefits of pleasing each other physically. Depending upon the means of communication (phone, text, private channels of social media, etc), the couple must exercise extreme caution. However, in this incidence, it would not be ungodly or improper in any way to self-masturbate together. Except for physical proximity, it is similar to mutual masturbation in marriage.

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We will continue to apply these six questions to specific sex acts that are often discussed in counseling. In preparation for the next blog on sex, you can consider this question, “What does the Bible say about sex toys, videos, and other objects?” Talk with you then.

Part 1: What You Need to Know about Sex and Why

Part 2: What is the Ultimate Purpose of Sex?

Part 3: What is the motivation for good sex?

Part 4: What are the benefits of good sex?

Part 5: What is the connection between sex and communication?

Part 6: How can you understand the struggle of a man’s desire for sex in marriage?

Part 7: How should a husband deal with his desire for sex?

Part 8: Wife, are you cheating your husband?

Part 9: Husband, are you cheating your wife?

Part 10: What Does the Bible Teach about Sex? Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.

Part 11: What does the Bible say about how often a married couple should have sex?

Part 12: What is a Christian Allowed to Do in Sex? What is Permissible?