Do you ever struggle being kind to people?
Are you known for bad moods, a grumpy exterior, or a crotchety exterior?
Yet, you and I both know that whenever any of us have a spirit that is less than kind and caring, God is not honored. We know that in these moments we fail to follow Christ. In these moments we both feel justified and, if we are seeking to be sensitive to the Spirit of God, also guilty at the same time.
Let me suggest that Christmas provides you a great opportunity for a way forward.
Here’s the Idea
My experience both from the counseling room and in my own life in a very particular incidence suggests that awkwardness sometimes hinders us from being kind. As it goes, you may have been grumpy or less than kind or in a seemingly bad mood for a long time. To change that spirit toward a particular person may be quite awkward.
The awkwardness of making a change helps prevent some from making any change at all. Of course what we are talking about is covert pride which makes living out repentance and a desire to change in order to live in the likeness of Christ harder.
Therefore, let’s let Christmas help us. Let’s alleviate some of the awkwardness by using this season to get in better practice of being kind, friendly, less grumpy, and in a better mood around people. If there is a hindrance to you making God-honoring, Christ-exalting, people-loving change, let’s seek to minimize that weakness giving you a better sense of the way forward.
The Foundation
Begin with your heart. Ask God to help you discern the things for which you need to repent. Consider how you have been less than kind, what your mood actually looks like, where you have loved in less-than-Christlike ways, and where you have sinned. Ask God for forgiveness. Furthermore, ask Him to help you recognize the strength you have in Christ to change. Also ask Him for courage to do what is right.
In time, you will need to seek forgiveness in places. This is a two-step process. First, ask God to forgive you as I mentioned above. Second, you will need to go to the other person to ask forgiveness. In an effort to prepare to ask your friend for forgiveness, you can begin by setting a new framework.
The Framework
Even before you ask for forgiveness, you can begin to be kind, have a better spirit, hope for God’s best for the other person, and show care.
Practice kindness.
Hopefully the person(s) to whom you have sinned will respond to you in kindness as well.
However, be aware of a potential problem: since you have not sought forgiveness yet to the other person and the other individual is unaware of your new effort, do not be offended if the other person does not immediately respond to your new commitment to love Christ and them better.
Instead, recognize that you have an opportunity to build a new path forward through your kindness which ultimately includes seeking forgiveness and the hope of reconciliation.
Furthermore, your kindness helps alleviate other barriers for the person or persons around you to respond kind as well.
Before I give you a couple of suggestions, let me remind you of an important principle. Kindness and caring are not merely an emotional feeling toward another person. Kindness, caring, and loving are all actions which should be specific and thoughtful.
How Can You Practice Kindness and Care?
Let me suggest three ways and provide a link with each one to help you consider ways that you can be kind to others and demonstrate Christlike care.
- “Smile at the people around you, making sure you relax your forehead and eyes. Before you say anything, choose to smile. As you do, gauge the response by others to you. You will be pleasantly surprised how kindness is contagious.” From Practice Kindness (1-Minute Mondays)
- Consider Random Acts of Kindness (RAK): Develop your own or “for those less creative, many RAK advent calendars are available online. In a recent internet search, I noticed that many people and organizations encourage others this season to practice RAKS from teacher resource pages to homeschool groups to the Hallmark Channel.” From Be Intentional in Your Kindness (1-Minute Mondays)
- Consider very specific acts of kindness that meet the other person’s needs. “Begin by paying attention. Look around and see people, see their needs, consider their hurts, and determine to move toward them.” From Just Being There for Each Other
Don’t Delay ~ Start Today
Begin today. As I mentioned above, it begins in your heart. Start there. Make the appropriate confession and seek forgiveness from God. Then, begin making an intentional plan to be kind and caring to whomever he, she, or they are that need it.
Let’s go get busy…
KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together
