These are some of the most read posts of 2019 on kevincarson.com. I arranged the sex series by category and listed the rest individually. Here they are! Hope you enjoy looking through them…

Image Credit Priscilla Du Preez

Sex Series

This series has been the most popular of the year as a group. I’m grateful that they have been helpful to many. I look forward to continuing these into the next year.

Thank you for your response to these as well.

Here is the list of links for the series:

1. What You Need to Know about Sex and Why
2. What is the Ultimate Purpose of Sex?
3. What is the motivation for good sex?
4. What are the benefits of good sex?
5. What is the connection between sex and communication?
6. How can you understand the struggle of a man’s desire for sex in marriage?
7. How should a husband deal with his desire for sex?
8. Wife, are you cheating your husband?
9. Husband, are you cheating your wife?
10. What Does the Bible Teach about Sex? Sex in Marriage is Pure and Holy.
11. What does the Bible say about how often a married couple should have sex?
12. What is a Christian Allowed to Do in Sex? What is Permissible?
13. What does the Bible teach about anal sex?
14. What does the Bible teach about oral sex?
15. What does the Bible teach about masturbation?
16. What does the Bible teach about sexual aids (including BDSM), pornography, and X-rated videos?
17. A Better Question than “Do You Want to Have Sex?”
18. What do I do when my spouse does not want to have sex?

Imperfect…a Response to Joshua Harris and a Look in the Mirror

As a pastor, counselor, Bible college and seminary professor, writer, friend, father, and husband, I have been concerned for some time about so many “big-name” pastors who have left the faith, been forced from their ministries, or otherwise have a bad testimony. I am concerned for all those brothers and sisters-in-Christ who walk alongside me and so many others in the faith. The Bible teaches us to look up to our elders, follow Christ together, and support one another.

As one of those walking alongside you, my heart is burdened for Josh and so many more like him. In the same instance, I recognize the pressures, trials, temptations, and opportunities to do less than glorify God in daily living. As my awareness of their story increases, the more aware I become of every man’s battle, especially pastors, counselors, professors, writers, friends, fathers, and husbands. Click Here

David Powlison (1949-2019): the Embodiment of a Biblical Counselor

Rare is the day when one dies and literally thousands of people reflect on how personal the death feels to them. In fact, I do not know any person in my life’s experience that when he or she died, so many thousand would say, “He was my friend.” In life, this alone would be a lifetime achievement. But that is far from the only achievement in David Powlison’s life.

No doubt many will pen beautiful words and eulogies for our dear friend. I sit down this day on the occasion of his death to write some of my own personal thoughts. Long story short, David Powlison was the first biblical counselor I ever met. Twenty years later, his life and ministry forged one of the deepest and most meaningful impacts in my life related to my counseling theology and practice. Click Here

We ALL Lost – Impeachment Process Disaster

As I sit hours after this historic impeachment vote against the President of the United States by the US House of Representatives, I am saddened. In fact, my disappointment level cannot be any higher with the level of overall discourse on multiple levels.

Why? Because of what I see on TV, what I read in newspapers, and what I read on social media.

I will not embarrass any friends or acquaintances by calling them out; however, what I have read on social media defies Christian worldview reason. In fact, God cannot be honored.

If you are a Christian, your response to this impeachment should reflect your love of Christ, love of people, respect for government, and appreciation of our country. Click Here

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What Pastors and Congregations Need to Know about Suicide

This news reminds us once again of the real life pressures every pastor faces. Pastors struggle alongside their congregations. Disappointment, discouragement, discontentment, despair, and depression plague pastors as they do everyone else. When these feelings invade a pastor’s heart and life, regrettably, suicide is no respecter of persons.

Just before his death, Jarrid tweeted, “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts.” Friends, that is true. But you do not suffer alone. Jesus is with us. Plus, we have each other.

Pastors and congregants must both work together against this tide as this story becomes more and more common. Click Here

Church is hard.

I sat in a meeting. The discussion was heated. The conversation heavy.

Hearts were burdened. Chests were puffed. Sorrow, pain, arrogance, curiosity, humility, fear, courage, and forgiveness sat together in a single room.

As I looked around the church, I just kept thinking-

Church is hard. Click Here

A Story of Hope in the Midst of Murder – 20 Years Later

For Of Such Is The Kingdom Of Heaven

by Tim Shawhan

Twenty years ago today Erin Vanderhoef, her children Christopher, Jimmy, and Dara, as well as her unborn child Hannah, were murdered by Richard DeLong in Springfield, Missouri. The bodies were found the next day by a neighbor hoping to borrow some sugar. The murders rocked Springfield. Personally, the murders rocked my own world. As pastors of the church where the children attended, I accompanied my dear friend Jim to positively identify the bodies at the morgue. Following that, our church held the funerals for the five members of the Vanderhoef family. I still remember well the caskets lined along the front of the church auditorium with the four accompanying hearses outside the church building.

But there is more to this story that you need to know. I encourage you to read the following blog by Tim Shawhan, who was a Sunday School teacher to Christopher. This is a sweet story that will encourage you on this anniversary date of their deaths. Click Here

Do Not Miss the Wisdom of Ecclesiastes – It is helpful every day!

Recently Tim Challies highlighted a series of articles related to the Book of Ecclesiastes. As a long-time biblical counselor and proponent for great exegesis from particular books of the Bible, I read the articles with great anticipation. Rather than giving a clear approach to the Book of Ecclesiastes, the author challenged us to determine the emphasis. I believe this book is far too important for everyday life in Christ and, by extension, for our counseling from the Scriptures to get this wrong. Therefore, today, I am going to review the big idea of Ecclesiastes and how it can help you in daily living.

Rightly interpreted, Ecclesiastes provides both a Godward perspective and wisdom as the Christian traverses through the many pressures of life. Over the years, this has been true for my counselees and me. For instance, when our daughter Kayla died, Ecclesiastes brought great insight and comfort into my life. At her death, I was in the process of both translating the book and teaching it verse-by-verse in our adult Sunday School class.

Bottom line: if you understand Ecclesiastes, you will be blessed in your walk with God and live much less frustrated. Click Here

Just Being There for Each Other

A Ministry of Presence

As I read this common post recently on Facebook, it reminded me of our privilege as individuals to come alongside other people.

Nearly a century ago, Milne and Shepard caught the care, kindness, and significance of authentic friendship.

As followers of Christ, the story of Pooh, Piglet, and Eeyore sounds almost like it could flow out of the Bible somewhere. In reality, it does capture everything that is good about relationships we can have together in Christ. Consider what the Bible recommends us doing on a daily basis… Click Here

If you commit suicide, can you go to heaven?

Ask Pastor Kevin

Therefore, why can we have confidence you can go to heaven if you commit suicide?

1. Because God offers us as individuals heaven and forgiveness of sin, even though we are sinners. God saves sinners; suicide is simply a sin. Suicide demonstrates what God and everyone else knew all along – this person was a sinner. But thankfully, those are the kinds of people God saves.
2. Because salvation is not earned, it is a gift of God in spite of our sin. By God’s grace and mercy, God grants forgiveness of sin or salvation to those who request it. Salvation cannot be earned. If salvation depended upon you, there is no hope. You did not earn it by works. You cannot lose it by works. Salvation is God’s gift in spite of your sin. Suicide is not the exception – it is still a sin for which God offers forgiveness.
3. Because God keeps us saved, we do not keep ourselves saved. Salvation is based upon God’s faithfulness, not the individual’s faithfulness to God. God is faithful. As Paul said, we can be confident because our confidence is in God not ourselves. God preserves us and keeps us for salvation because none of us could ever do so on our own.

For the saved person, his or her confidence resides in God through Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit, not in earning, deserving, or preserving salvation by his or her own merit. And God, my friend, is trustworthy. Click Here