People often ask what the differences are between biblical counseling and all other forms of counseling. The answer, of course, includes multiple aspects related to theology, philosophy, and practice. One aspect that many forget is the consistent lifestyle of the counselor. In biblical counseling, the role the counselor plays is integral to the overall model of true biblical counseling.
In many ways, you can think of biblical counseling as a four-legged stool. One leg is theology—the dynamics of biblical change. Another leg is methodology—methods consistent with biblical theology that promote change. The third leg is the context of biblical counseling—the body of Christ in the local church. The fourth leg is the practitioner participating in conversational ministry—the consistent lifestyle of a believer in Jesus Christ.
Without the fourth leg—the consistent lifestyle of a believer in Jesus Christ—the model of biblical counseling falls. Consider how this makes biblical counseling so different than any other method of counseling. No one ever asks a psychologist or psychiatrist about his or her marriage. The faith and obedience of the counselor’s children are taboo. Church life does not matter in any other counseling system. Anger? Bitterness? Impatience? Spiritual disciplines? Contentment? Purity? No, no, no, no, no, and no. None of these issues matter in any other system of counseling.
What makes them imperative in biblical counseling? The life of the counselor either places a giant exclamation point at the end of the Christ-centered word of counsel or the life of the counselor places a big fat “X” over the counseled word. The lifestyle of the counselor either demonstrates the power of the Spirit through the Word of God or questions the veracity of it.
We Have Each Other as Examples
When the Apostle Paul challenged the Philippian believers to live for Jesus Christ, he admitted that he had not attained the goal for which Christ had called him (Phil. 3:13-15). He strived toward the goal of Christlikeness. Notice what he says here: “Be imitators of me, brothers and sisters, and watch carefully those who are living this way, just as you have us as an example” (Phil. 3:17). Who are the examples? There are two mentioned here. First, Paul exhorts fellow believers to imitate him (as he imitated Christ). The second group is us. In other words, we have each other as examples of what it means to be a consistent, passionate follower of Jesus Christ.
When we look at another believer and suggest that he or she should do X or Y if God is going to be honored, that person, in one sense, has an equal responsibility to ask if we live and do X or Y as well.
No other counseling system in the world includes this kind of accountability and demonstrative proof of the veracity of the counsel given to the counselee. Only those who practice biblical counseling live under the mandate to counsel the Word after they live the Word.
This is why Paul exhorts careful self-counsel as part of the process of restoration ministry (Gal. 6:1-5). He writes, “Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too… Let each one examine his own work.” In other words, in the process of biblical counseling (conversational ministry, restoration ministry, burden-bearing ministry), practice self-counsel. Check your own heart to make sure your life is consistent with what you teach (cf., Matt. 7:3-5; 1 Tim. 4:16).
What Does Consistency Look Like? How Should a Biblical Counselor Live?
Paul expressed to Timothy how he was supposed to discipline himself for the gospel ministry. He provided for him a list of areas to consider as he sought to serve the church well.
Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity (1 Tim. 4:12).
He challenges Timothy to live life in such a way that no one would have any reason to despise his youth, but instead to be an example to the believers. He describes five different categories to live as Christ:
- Speech: This relates to what we say. Each believer should carefully consider his or her speech to see if it honors the Lord, builds others up, and promotes grace (Eph. 4:29-32).
- Conduct: This relates to what we do. How do you live your life each day? Does your conduct reflect a holy, righteous lifestyle (Phil. 1:27)?
- Love: This relates to what we serve. To love like Christ means to love people with self-sacrificial service that desires to do God’s will more than anything else (Matt. 22:37-39).
- Faithfulness: This relates to how we live. The responsibility of Christ’s followers is to be found faithful (1 Cor. 4:2). Like Paul, the goal for every believer is to finish the race and keep the faith (2 Tim. 4:7).
- Purity: This relates to what we want. Paul ends his list with an exhortation to check our desires or heart. Sexual purity is part of his concern but not the entirety of it. A pure heart is the motivation for all wisdom (James 3:17).
Questions for Reflection
Do you recognize the significance of your role in the biblical counseling process? Do your heart and life reflect the qualities of Christ? As counselees watch your life, does your testimony reflect the power of the Spirit and sufficiency of the Word?
KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together
© 2020 KEVINCARSON.COM
This initially ran as a blog post on www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org.
