How would you describe your best friend? Does just thinking of this person’s name bring a smile? Would you use words to describe your friend like: there, around, a phone call away, and present? Would you also say things like: patient, caring, genuine, authentic, real, honest, trustworthy, comfortable, a safe place, or considerate? What about some of these characteristics: dependable, loyal, a good listener, fun to be around, or supportive?
I hope by now you are thinking of even other characteristics of your best friend! What else would you say?
Are you missing her or him? Has this COVID-19 pandemic or other circumstances made it nearly impossible to enjoy time with your friend or friends?
During this time away from friends, it is very easy to feel lonely, be a bit down, or otherwise feel crummy. You might be thinking, “Geez Kevin those aren’t very specific terms. That could almost describe anything.” Yes, I know. But when you are away from a friend, it is easy to have an overall sense of blah. I know. I have been talking with many of you as well and you describe the same type of feelings.
The Value of a Friend
The wise man Solomon helped us understand the value of friendship:
9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.10 But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up… (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
Friendship blesses both people and is loaded with practical value. Solomon points out the simplicity of friendship: Two are better than one.
Consider what else Solomon says:
17 A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)
The true friend is also like the brother and loyally loves. Adversity and trouble makes that apparent. Often true friends bear weights that no one else ever knows. They share burdens, carry loads, and discuss issues of the heart. These friends pursue patiently, love sincerely, and serve sacrificially. Many times they do these things quietly without fanfare, gossip, or acclaim. Instead they are trustworthy, kind, honest, loving, and loyal. A friend understands repentance, forgiveness, restoration, mistakes, and do-overs. Friends listen not just to words but to the heart of those words.
What a valuable and blessed relationship!
This value makes it harder to go through this time of distancing. Thankfully there are many ways of getting together with friends which include phones, social media, cards, and old-fashioned letters. However, as great as these things are, it is easy to miss the face-to-face interaction.
Four Things You Can Do Today
First, make a list of the characteristics you most appreciate about your friends. I use the plural form of the word, but also seek to make it individual. What about this specific friend or that particular one? Take a few minutes to contemplate all the things for which you are grateful about your friend. To catch all the things will take longer than a few minutes of course, but you can at least get started. If you have time, you can always share it with them too. How fun and meaningful is that to receive such a heart-warming gift from a friend? It will both encourage you and your friends.
Second, take your list and consider your own life. Are you that kind of person? Are you the person you would appreciate as a friend? What makes you that person for someone else? Are you like the brother born for a time of adversity? Do you loyally serve others? Try to determine if you are a giver or a taker, one who builds up his or her friends or just primarily takes from them.
Third, where you find places of weakness, work on one of the areas you identify. In all reality, we can all change in many ways. If you find several areas of weakness, do not let that discourage you or get you down. Just pick one area to seek to do better. Seek to practice getting better with one friend or two at first. If there is something for which you need to repent, start there. Your friend will understand.
Fourth, pray for your friend. One of my absolutely favorite quotes is, “Praying for your friend demonstrates true love.” Talk to the God of the universe, your God, about your friend. Bring the needs, burdens, concerns, and heartaches before Him. Ask God to do amazing things in the life of your friend. Desire God’s will and God’s best for your friend as well. What a great joy as a friend to do this! You can do this regardless of where you are or where your friend is. Social distancing does not change your ability to pray for your friend.
Rejoice In God’s Kindness of Friendship
Throughout your day today, rejoice in God’s kindness to allow you to both be this kind of friend to others and have this kind of friend. May God grant you a wonderful day as you rejoice in Him and in your friends.
Just one other word, if you would say, “But I don’t have any of those kinds of friends.” Certainly some may say that and this alone is worthy of a different blog. However, just a word of encouragement. Today, take the first step toward making yourself one of those people to others. Do not worry about their response to you; instead, just seek to serve as Christ. Do what you can with the right motive and then allow God to take care of the outcome. More on that another day.
KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together
