Before You Can Be Patient

Before you can be truly patient with another person, you need to consider three other important items. Patience, in the context of this blog, refers to the kind of patience that honors the Lord. In other words, patience should reflect love of God and love of your neighbor – in this way, you will be truly patient. Let me explain.

Patience that Does Not Honor God

At times, we can be patient in a way that does not honor the Lord. You may be wondering how that is even possible. Well, it is, and here is why. In moments, we can be sinfully angry with another person, yet still “be” patient. For instance, some big man on a Harley Davidson bike stops in front of you in the middle of the road. Traffic is heavy enough that you cannot safely go around him. In your mind and behind the safety of your closed windows, you are giving the guy what for. You do not blow your horn, you do not get too close, nor do you do anything else toward or against him as you eventually drive around him.

Someone observing may say, “It’s amazing how patient that guy was behind that motorcycle.” Why? Because you did not do any of those things. However, when we scratch just a bit below the surface, we see that your patience was at best “not truly patient.”

How else can we tell if you were truly patient?

Well, what were you thinking? What was going through your mind about this person? What motivated you not to blow your horn, get too close, or do anything else that could be deemed impatient? Were you doing these things because you desired to show love to God and your neighbor? Was your desire to reflect Christlikeness? Did you choose silence in order to walk worthy of the Gospel?

Or, is it possible that you chose to be “patient” because the man was quite large, was riding a Harley, and you did not want him to possibly respond angrily at you, or even worse, get off his bike to come over to you?

In this way, you may have been patient, but the motivation of the patience is self-serving. Neither love of God, love of neighbor, a desire for good for the other person, nor a desire to live worthy of the Gospel drove the actions; instead, it was fear of reprisal, love of self-preservation, and desire to not get the cyclist angry at you.

In one way, patience is good because it did not do harm to the neighbor nor did it complicate the situation greater; however, God is not honored in your ultimate motivation for it. That may strike you as funny or wrong, but again, we have to consider it deeper than just simply the question, “Was I patient?”

I’m glad you did not make matters worse (in this supposed scenario)! Yet, this type of patience does not demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit. This kind of patience could be no more than a work of the flesh from a smart person that understands cause and effect. Your unsaved neighbor may have been “patient” just like you were. In this sense, you were not truly patient in a way that honors Jesus Christ.

Consider These Questions and True Patience

The Apostle Paul wrote:

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3)

In order for true patience which is a work of the Spirit rather than simply a work of the flesh, the motivation needs to be biblically accurate. Paul writes the goal is to walk worthy of the calling or worthy of the Gospel. What does that look like? With all humility and gentleness (or self-control), with longsuffering (this is our word for patience), putting up with each other in love, and striving to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

What is the motivation of your patience? Are you demonstrating patience as a work of the Spirit or work of the flesh? Is your goal to demonstrate your love of Christ and love of your neighbor?

This week, let’s take our patience one step deeper. Yes, be patient regardless of your motivation. And, also Yes, check your motivation as well.

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