Many of us miss our friends. Missouri’s Governor Parsons announced a state-wide “Stay-at-Home” order to go along with so many counties, metros, cities, and towns across Missouri. This news lands on hearts that already miss the connection with the greater body of Christ, neighbors, coworkers, and extended family. Not only do we truly miss the connections and normal interactions, inherently we each know God made us for community, needing each other.

God made relationships to help us grow in Christlikeness. Further, Biblical fellowship draws us closer to God and each other (1 John 1:1-2:2).

As Ed Welch encourages us in Side By Side, our conversations during this time of separation must produce real and tangible fellowship. We must not simply greet each other; instead, we need to press into the issues of the heart and soul. Our conversations should reflect our concerns over others’ physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Why Does It Matter?

As we engage each other over various mediums, good questions can help get the conversations headed the right direction. The goal for conversation should be a true sense of discovery that is motivated by love. The last thing any of us would want is to possibly miss key data that could produce opportunities for further ministry. The stay-at-home orders produce enough difficulty already without adding poor communication with an accompanying failure to do true, authentic ministry.

Fundamentally, we suffer together through this. However, our suffering is not simply that – just suffering. Instead, we all interpret our personal suffering through our own hearts. As we interpret our suffering individually, we all suffer differently. Our experience of suffering manifests itself in many different ways. For some, it looks like loneliness, others anger, and even others sadness – to just name a few common responses. We cannot see it as just simply suffering. Yes, we are in suffering together; however, each one of us experiences going through the suffering in different (yet common) ways. We do not want to make the mistake to assume that our own personal response is the same response as our friend’s or neighbor’s. Therefore, we must press in to seek to discern our neighbor’s experience.

Consider These Questions

What can you ask? Let me suggest a few questions that will produce the kinds of information for you to help you serve your friend better. These questions relate to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Remember, every person is in the image of God and, as such, shares many things in common together. We know that in a crisis such as this the outer man and inner man will both be affected in ways that influence each other.

Physical well-being:

  • Is there anything you need?
  • How do you physically feel?
  • Are you getting out of your house/apartment any?
  • What kind of exercise are you getting?
  • What are you doing for meals?
  • Have your sleep patterns changed as you have been going through this?
  • Do you have any medicines you need help picking up?
  • Can I grab you something from the store?

Emotional well-being:

  • How are you responding to these circumstances?
  • Are you finding that you are sad, anxious, afraid, or angry about what is going on? What is encouraging you to feel this way?
  • Are you finding it difficult to do the things that you need to do because of what is going on?
  • What things seem hardest for you? What do you anticipate will be hard if this continues?
  • How would you say you are experiencing this trial?

Spiritual well-being:

  • How can I pray for you?
  • In this season, for what are you most grateful?
  • How hard is it to be grateful? Do you find it easier to grumble or praise right now? Why do you think that is so?
  • What passages of Scripture are ministering to you right now?
  • What about Jesus Christ seems to be primarily on your mind and heart?
  • In what areas do you think you are struggling spiritually in this?
  • What promises from the Scriptures are you considering daily?
  • What about God’s grace, the gospel, or the Spirit’s work in your life tends to encourage you in this time?

General well-being:

  • For what are you most concerned?
  • As this lingers on, what concerns you most?
  • As you go through your day, what seems to be on your mind the most?

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