Introduction

In the midst of life’s many challenges, followers of Christ effectively choose how they will respond. God’s goal remains the same no matter what the pressure is in life – to live a God-honoring life that is consistent with the Gospel. The Bible often refers to this as a walk. In essence, we are to walk with God in a manner that is worthy of Jesus Christ. As a dearly loved child of God, we are to imitate Jesus Christ in everything we do. The Apostle Paul writes, “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma” (Eph 5:1-2).

In this book you will learn the 5 key characteristics of walking with Jesus Christ. As you do, and as you practice these characteristics in your daily living, you will become a great imitator of God as one of His children.

Balance

Balance. That’s a word I wish a few people knew more about. In the recent past, the idea of balance seems to have disappeared in society. People’s responses to each other and pressured circumstances seems to swing from one end of the spectrum to the other.

Yet, balance is important in many ways. In life as individuals nor in society are we expected to live on the extremity. Instead, we seek to do what we can to live as followers of God who engage the world with a sense of perspective which does not change or pivot with each new news report, viral video, or wild idea.

In fact, Paul the Apostle suggested living in balance as one of the critical areas where you demonstrate a true relationship with God. If you can understand how he is challenging you to live, then your life and all your relationships can change. Further, the benefits you reap in your daily walk with God will benefit you greatly.

(This particular text is so important for daily living, I teach it to every couple in preparation for marriage. I often share it with couples having marital problems as well. When both the husband and wife commit to this kind of balanced living, the change is dramatic.)

Let me explain.

Living In Balance

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Paul highlights balance when he challenges us to walk worthy. The idea inherent in this term is balance, equilibrium, or one thing being equal to another thing.

In order to achieve balance, one item must offset the weight of another item. In this instance, the weight of one side is the calling; the weight of the other side is the walking. The call versus the walk.

The Call

The call to which Paul refers relates to the Gospel and points back to Ephesians 1-3. In this part of the book, Paul identifies three aspects of the Gospel that help us understand the call.

The Gospel ~ Salvation and Sanctification (Eph 2:1-10) ~ The Gospel Call

Before salvation, we were slaves to our flesh as we lived according to the course of this age and under the influence of the prince of this age. It was impossible to honor the Lord because we were spiritually dead. Yet, in an act of immeasurable mercy and grace, God provided salvation. Paul writes, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph 2:8-10). In an effort to demonstrate the incredible riches of God’s grace, He made a way by faith in order to be saved. With salvation, He also provided a new path down which we walk as believers in which He is working. We are created for these new good works.

The Gospel ~ The Body of Christ (Eph 2:11-22) ~ The Gospel Context

When we were saved, we also received a people. We went from those who were outside God’s people without hope to inside the people of God. God placed us in the body of Christ. We became part of the household of God. We became part of God’s family. Where we once were both separated from God and each other, through the blood of Jesus Christ we are together – reconciled to God and with each other in one body.

The Gospel ~ The Power of the Holy Spirit (Eph 3:1-21) ~ The Gospel Capacity

The third aspect of the Gospel Call refers to the power of the Holy Spirit. Again, in the moment of salvation, God gives to each person the Holy Spirit. The Spirit manifests Himself in the individual believer in power (Eph 3:20-21; cf. Eph 1:19-23). There is a new power that works in us which allows us to honor God in any situation. Where we once had no ability to honor the Lord, now, through the Spirit, we can live for God’s glory.

The Call Equals the Gospel

When you consider all three senses of the Gospel, you begin to understand the call. Paul commands all believers to live consistent with the calling – or the Gospel. As believers, we are saved from sin and toward a new life of good works in Christ, become part of God’s one family, and receive the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the essence of the Gospel.

The Gospel call provides the standard for living. This call changes everything. We are saved with a new agenda of living it out every day with others in the family of God through the power of the Holy Spirit. What an incredible difference than before salvation when none of these things were possible.

Your Walk

What is the call of God supposed to be equal to? What is the counterweight? Your walk or lifestyle.

As a follower of Christ, you are to walk worthy or in equilibrium with the call of God.

In other words, you are to live every day as one in which God is working, who has a people to work with, and who is empowered by the Spirit.

The unknown weight is your walk.

We Each Have a Challenge and a Blessing

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. We are saved, are within the people of God, and have the power of the Spirit.

God graciously gives us a challenge and the ability to live up to that challenge.

Over the next few chapters, I will help you better understand how this works and how you can live consistent with the Gospel.

 

Humility.

I think this word is easier to write than it is to live.

Possibly this characteristic is a bit elusive to you as well. I try not to write much about humility because I do not pretend to be perfect here in any way. Humility is tough. Show me the person who is continually humble and I will show you a person who walks with Jesus and fears God.

In this book, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first chapter, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. Here is the first: humility.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Humility

As you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Lowliness refers to humility. Humility basically means that you see God and others as more important than yourself. You take on a lowly position. You hold God’s concerns and others’ concerns as greater. Jesus, of course, is the perfect example of humility (cf. Phil 2:1-11).

Humility is the opposite of pride.

No doubt one of the greatest challenges of this first key characteristic of authentic gospel living is consistently living it. Humility and pride sit as opposites of each other. Wherever you learn more about pride, you also learn about its opposite – humility. Any effort at killing pride promotes humility. The two always stand in opposition to each other.

When you begin to think you are humble…

Whenever you are convinced you are humble, problems begin. Pride comes before a fall.

I remember I was once going to introduce a good friend as a humble person. I believe he truly strove to be so on a regular basis. Just prior to me getting up and introducing him with some introduction thoughts jotted down on a small paper in my hand, this man handed me a piece of paper. On it, he described all of his accomplishments that he desired for me to share with those in attendance. I folded my piece of paper up that described his humility and put it back in my pocket.

His problem that day comes from pride. My problems too many days also come from pride. I still believe he was a humble person – most days. I pray I am headed that way – at least most days. Wouldn’t it be great if pride were as easy to put away as that piece of paper that afternoon? It would be nice if I could boast of great progress here; however, life-lived proves otherwise. I would dare never pronounce myself as such, even if I thought I was. Pride tricks us often in believing we are truly humble.

Some of my friends in other places have written on pride versus humility. I always stand in awe of them. Today, I write about humility because it is the first and foundational characteristic of authentic Christianity – not as one who has attained but as one who seeks to move that direction.

Understanding humility…

The easiest definition for humility follows the first and second Great Commandments given by Jesus. He summarized all the commandments up into these two:

37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’38 This is the first and great commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

A truly humble person follows the Great Commandments in the way he or she lovingly sees others.

Humility loves God and considers Him supremely. A humble person walks in great respect of Who God is and what God does; this is known as the fear of the Lord. He or she considers God as supreme. In other words, God matters most (cf., Prov 22:4).

Others truly matter as well. A humble person puts the concerns of others above his or her concerns for self (cf., Phil 2:3-4). We see the other person’s concerns as valuable and desire to honor his or her concerns. We seek to be please the other person and serve according to his or her desires (cf., James 3:17 – sweet reasonableness).

I appreciate the way C.S. Lewis refers to humility, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

Reflection Questions

  • How do you view God in comparison to yourself? Do you value God’s opinion, desires, and commands as greater than your own opinions, desires, and preferences?
  • How do you view others in comparison to yourself? Do you seek to do what is best for them, see their opinions and desires as more valuable than your own, and prefer the other person above yourself?
  • As you live every day, are you the subject of your thinking, desires, and behavior? Do you primarily strive to satisfy your own longings, desires, and feelings or do you seek to live in light of loving God supremely and others sincerely?

 

Gentleness.

The second key characteristic of authentic Christianity is an often-misunderstood one. Most people – men especially – do not stand around celebrating gentility. Being gentle fails to catch most people’s list of life goals. Yet, Paul includes it in his top five characteristics of living consistent with the Gospel.

In this book, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first chapter, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle. In subsequent chapters, we look at each of these five key characteristics of a gospel-consistent lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. This is the second: gentleness.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Gentleness

As you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility, and the second is gentleness.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Gentleness refers to meekness and is part of the fruit of the Spirit (cf., Gal 5:23). Gentleness basically means one’s strength or power under control, self-control. The gentle person exhibits a gentleness of attitude and behavior instead of any kind of harshness. I like to use this simple definition, “As you touch other people in interaction with them, you fail to leave any marks.” You treat people even better than you would treat your family’s antique fine china. In the Bible, both Jesus and Moses were considered gentle (cf., Matt 21:5; Num 12:3). Paul describes himself as gentle too (cf., 2 Cor 10:1). As a fruit of the Spirit, you essentially take on the tender heart of Christ toward others.

Gentleness is the opposite of harshness.

A gentle person intentionally cares about how he or she interacts with others. In the process of any kind of engagement or handling any matter, the gentle person strives not to leave any mark. As it relates to people, a gentle person exhibits kindness, a tenderness driven by compassion, and chooses restraint. Although a gentle person has the power to use his or her strength of character, physical strength, emotion, or personality to its fullest, he or she chooses to keep it under control.

You can often check your attitude or tongue to see whether or not you are gentle. Often harshness shows up in these two areas whenever it exists.

Referring to the staircase illustration above, humility is often paired with humility. In fact, in this text, Paul writes, “In all humility and gentleness.” They are connected within the same prepositional phrase. As mentioned above, the only pathway to gentleness is first through humility. You must think more of God and others than yourself if you are going to be intentional about keeping your power under control as you engage others.

A parable of gentleness…

I heard Paul Tripp give this illustration years ago in class with his children. For the sake of making it my own, I’ll use my children as well.

Imagine when my youngest son was just four. His older siblings were 11, 13, and 15.

I give them the same assignment: go outside and pick your mom some flowers.

They each will bring in their assortment for their mom. My oldest would have a beautiful set of flowers for his mother. My daughter would also have a beautiful set of flowers with careful attention given to the colors. My other son would give something to his mother that demonstrates his incredible creativity.

Now the youngest. He would bring back something for his mother as well. Instead of beautiful arrangements, his offering to his mother may have to be floated instead of stood in a vase.

Why the difference?

All of them have the same set of flowers to choose from, the same tools, and the same desire to honor their mother. However, the difference between the older three and the youngest is the ability to use their hands gently. He has not learned power under control yet.

Understanding gentleness…

Jesus invites us to both come to Him and learn from Him. Learn what? Gentleness no doubt.

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

He invites us to come and learn; He describes Himself as gentle.

What does gentleness look like? Gentleness…

  • …takes sin seriously (2 Tim 2:24-26; cf., Matt 21:12-13).
  • …characterizes restoration in humility (Gal 6:2).
  • …helps resolve conflict with others (Tit 3:2).
  • …provides the path to give hope to others (1 Pet 3:15).
  • …demonstrates the wise person (James 3:17).
  • …exhibits the work of the Spirit in a person’s life (Gal 5:22-23).

Essentially anything a Christian does with others related to simply living life, including all issues related to sin and suffering, should reflect a gentle spirit. Based upon our love of Christ and others, we move toward people with a sense of tenderness, care, and concern. We listen. We learn. In the process, we demonstrate God’s care as we do our own.

Reflection Questions

  • How do you view gentleness? It is a quality that you desire or want to pursue?
  • Thinking through your recent conflicts and engagement with others, would those you engaged describe you as gentle? Would they report you were careful to care for them as Christ?
  • When you interact with others, do you pay attention to how you are perceived? What do their perceptions say about possible issues of your heart?

 

Patience.

The third key characteristic of authentic Christianity is patience. Throughout the Bible, patience hails as a top Christian virtue. Based on its frequency, evidently the tendency toward anger, bitterness, and wrath must be a fairly common response among followers of Christ everywhere. No doubt every one of us at times have struggled, are struggling, or will struggle with patience.

In this book, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first chapter, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle. In subsequent articles, we look at each of these five key characteristics of a gospel-consistent lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. This is the third: patience.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Patience

As you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility, the second is gentleness, and the third is patience.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Longsuffering refers to patience and is part of the fruit of the Spirit (cf., Gal 5:22). The term longsuffering or patience comes from a compound word which refers to anger and a long time. In other words, you could describe it as having a long fuse. When something happens that would normally result in anger, the person exhibiting patience has a long fuse before getting angry, is slow to anger, or longsuffering. In the Bible, God is known as slow to anger (cf., Ex 34:6). As a fruit of the Spirit, the Spirit provides you the ability to respond slowly to any kind of provocation.

Longsuffering primarily deals with sin.

In the way the Apostle Paul puts this passage together, when he calls on us to be patient, he is primarily dealing with sin. Of course patience includes many more circumstances than just when someone sins against you. However, in this text, these five attitudes relate more to relationships with people than just merely responding to a long traffic signal, a rundown battery, or an otherwise long day. However, growing in patience applies in each of these incidences as well.

How often do people sin against you? Further, how often do you perceive that you are sinned against, put off, or slighted by another person in one way or another? Have you ever assumed someone else’s motive when you perceive these things?

In these situations, patience means that you do not either fly off the handle or internally seethe because of what you consider is against you – whether simply perceived or real.

How is this kind of patience possible? In this text, there are two ways that you can have increased patience.

First, remember the gospel or your call (as Paul puts it in verse one of this section). The goal is to live consistent or worthy with the gospel. As you strive to increase in patience, you remind yourself regularly of the gospel. You consider the great patience that God has for you through Christ. As you contemplate the patience you receive from God, you strive to emulate that toward others.

Second, recognize that a lack of patience may highlight a greater struggle with humility and gentleness. Pride does not encourage patience. Therefore, if you lose the battle of pride versus humility, you can almost guarantee your fuse will be short with people. Further, if you are not committed to gentleness, to that same extent you will increase your struggle with patience. A prideful harsh person most certainly will not be patient with those who do something against them or are perceived as doing something against them.

The problem with forgetting the Gospel and making assumptions…

Related to forgetting the Gospel… We would say someone has forgotten the Gospel anytime that person goes through a particular day or event without any reflection on his or her relationship with God through the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. Not that a person overtly walks into each room reflecting upon the crucifixion; but that this person is aware of his or her own sinfulness, the grace of God that provided salvation even in light of our own sinfulness, and the joy of being in Christ as a forgiven sinner.

Reminding yourself of the Gospel takes practice. In fact, the Apostle Peter calls on followers of Christ to be diligent as we seek to live for God each day and warns us about forgetting the Gospel (2 Peter 1:2-11). When we forget, we suffer under the consequences of it. We do not produce the kinds of fruit God intends for us as Christians. For sure, patience is part of that fruit God intends.

Related to assumptions… We make assumptions anytime we think we know the motive of another person. If you say or do something that I perceive is against me, if I am not careful, I respond from an assumption of your motive. In other words, if you say something that is not true, it could be a totally innocent mistake or you could have intentionally lied to me. I make an assumption if I believe I know your motives. To keep from making an assumption, I will have to ask a question or two to reveal what your motive is.

In this instance, I could ask you, “What you said is not true, did you realize that you were not telling me the truth?” If the person answers affirmatively, then you can respond, “What was your motivation to not tell me the truth?” As the person answers, then I can respond accordingly. This protects me from assuming motive and responding impatiently.

Understanding the patience of God toward us…

As we strive to patient toward others like God is toward us, it is important to remember some key aspects of God’s patience toward us.

9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

Notice how God demonstrates patience toward us with a specific purpose. God’s patience reflects God’s desire to see us repent. Repentance of course is the first step toward restoration with Him. This is helpful to notice. God demonstrates patience toward us for the hope of repentance. Therefore, as people sin against us or we perceive they do, we respond with patience similar to God because we desire for this other person to ultimately enjoy a restored relationship with God and us through repentance.

Further, consider how Paul explains it to Timothy.

15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life (1 Timothy 1:15-16).

Notice here how Paul explains that Christ Jesus demonstrates incredible patience with him so that others can understand the patience God has toward them as well. In other words, God through Christ shows patience to Paul for others to see how patient He is toward them as well. Let’s extend this one more level then. When you show patience toward others because of the patience God has shown you, you demonstrate to them the incredible patience God has for them as well. You live out the Gospel for them. You become a living example of Christ.

Reflection Questions

  • When someone sins against you or you perceive that in someway he or she does something against you, do you think of Jesus Christ and the significance of the Gospel?
  • When you struggle with patience, do you reflect upon the significance of the Gospel, humility versus pride, or the desire to be gentle like Christ?
  • How often do you consider your patience with others in light of God’s goal for their repentance, restoration, and growth? Do you consider your patience as a demonstration of the patience God also has toward them?

 

Forbearance.

The fourth key characteristic of authentic Christianity is forbearance. Of these five characteristics, this is the hardest one to clearly articulate in one word. In fact, the Greek word behind the English forbearing one another is also translated endurance with each other, putting up with one another, bearing with one another, showing tolerance for one another, and the list goes on. Probably the most literal is putting up with one another. For most people, this may be one of the hardest characteristics listed.

In this book, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first chapter, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle. In subsequent chapters, we look at each of these five key characteristics of a gospel-consistent lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. This is the fourth: forbearance.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Forbearance

As you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility, the second is gentleness, the third is patience, and the fourth is forbearance.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Forbearance refers to enduring something difficult or unpleasant (cf., 1 Cor 4:12), bearing something for another (cf., Col 3:13), or putting up with another. In some sense, it is an extension of the patience or longsuffering that Paul just mentioned (characteristic three). As mentioned above, the best way to describe it is literally, putting up with another person.

 

Forbearance primarily deals with preferences.

Whereas in the way the Apostle Paul puts this passage together, when he calls on us to be patient, he is primarily dealing with sin, when he calls on us to forbear, he primarily deals with preferences. This is critical for your understanding of this passage. As a humble, gentle, patient person, you then choose to put up with each other in love.

Putting up with each other relates to just persevering together. Without exception, ever person possesses many many different preferences. We like the way we do things, the way we say things, the way we organize, the way we live. And, there is nothing wrong with that. The point I want you to see is that we all have so many different preferences. So. many. different. preferences.

Just take a moment and think with me.

Do you chew with your mouth open or closed? Do you care how others do? What about the speed of your walk? Have you considered the kinds of clothes you prefer? How about the vehicle you drive? Computer you use? Do you prefer the toothpaste tube and toilet paper roll a particular way? What is a set table and what constitutes a complete meal? What about your driving habits versus others (all within the legal limits of course)? Are you beginning to get the point?

You are opinionated even if you are not. However, that is not bad. I emphasize that point so that you will recognize that you have hundreds and hundreds of preferences yourself. We all do.

Whenever then you put one person next to another person, that doubles or triples the amount of preferences present in that moment. They are bound to clash. When they do, the text calls on us to put up with each other.

Marriage functions as the perfect case study. Two people get married and there are family of origin life systems and personal preferences of both that must be integrated into a new, shared life system. This process begins during dating and engagement; it continues throughout marriage. Every day preferences collide with each other.

As I mentioned in the previous article, where patience primarily deals with sin, forbearance and endurance primarily deal with preferences.

Putting up with each other in love

Because this process includes preferences which are based off of personal desires and opinions, conflicts arise. When faced with determining whether or not to prefer another person more than self (cf., Phil 2:1-11), essentially spiritual war breaks out in a person’s heart. Desires fight for functional control of a person’s heart (cf., James 1:13-18; 4:1-10; Gal 5:15-21). To employ this analogy to its fullest, as individuals determine how to work through their preferences in relationship to each other, there is a odor of lusts/desires hanging in the air like sulfur on a battlefield.

The battle of the flesh versus the Spirit and personal desires that campaign in our hearts for control produce an atmosphere where love of self quickly dominates one’s attitude, thinking, and behavior. Our hearts wrap around our desires producing atmospheric conditions which naturally encourage selfish ambition, self-seeking, and self-pleasure rather than patience, perseverance, tenderheartedness, compassion, and graciousness. This natural tendency moves us toward conflict not away from it.

Therefore, Paul delineates the means by which we are to put up with each other. We are to put up with each other in love.

Love of God and love of one’s neighbor, both which are produced and influenced by an awareness of the gospel itself, help keep the follower of Christ motivated away from selfishness and toward selflessness. Just as Jesus lived, a follower of Christ seeks to live as well. Similar to the way that Jesus’ love manifested itself in service to others, the believer’s love should also manifest itself in service (cf., Eph 5:1-3).

Love of God and love of our neighbor compel the follower of Christ in every way possible to put up with the other person. In other words, to willingly give up his or her personal preferences in an effort to lovingly allow the other person the freedom to live consistent with his or her preferences. This is the essential process Paul explains in much greater detail in Philippians 2:1-11. Jesus functions as the most beautiful and perfect example of what this kind of living looks like.

Love motivates, but how is this possible?

The gospel – which in this text is what we seek to live equal to – when rightly understood and considered produces life change. Followers of Christ desire to walk worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In an earlier article, I described this kind of living as balanced living.

That lifestyle begins with humility – then gentleness – then patience – then putting up with each other in love.

If you fail in humility, you will not put up with others in love. Unless you are committed to gentleness, you will not handle others’ preferences and prerogatives with care, concern, compassion, and consistency. If you are not patient generally and specifically with others’ sins, then you will struggle putting up with their preferences in love. With an impatience toward sin and the sinner, your natural tendency will be toward imbalance away from the gospel and toward critique, correction, and control. The love you will be most committed to is love of self and not love of others which produces a love of service to those same people, including putting up with their preferences. What may seem like great wisdom and insight to you regarding your or another’s preference may simply be a manifestation of self-love, selfishness, and a failure to do careful self-counsel.

In the moment of each decision, there are only two options on the shelf: honoring/pleasing God (which will always include loving the neighbor sincerely) and honoring/pleasing self. The preferences of others versus your own desires often become hurdles for your own sanctification. How will you respond?

Reflection Questions

  • When someone does something that you do not prefer, what do you think? How do you feel? What do you say? What do you do?
  • Does your response to the preferences of others typically exude humility, gentleness, patience, and love of God and others or would you categorize your response as something different?
  • When considering your preferences or another person’s preferences, do you consciously consider the gospel, the battle between the flesh and the Spirit, the deceptiveness of desires, and the tendencies to want to please self rather than God?

 

Unity of the Spirit.

The fifth key characteristic of authentic Christianity is endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit. This is the culmination of all the previous five characteristics. In other words, similar to a staircase, this is the highest point or highest step. You must get through the first four to be able to get here, yet at the same time, the previous four also work to establish this characteristic too.

In this book, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first chapter, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle. In subsequent articles, we look at each of these five key characteristics of a gospel-consistent lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. This is the fifth: endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Unity of the Spirit

As I mentioned above, as you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility, the second is gentleness, the third is patience, the fourth is forbearance, and the fifth is endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

This final attitude is the ultimate attitude or characteristic of the Christian. If you live life doing this, you will live a God-honoring, Christ-exalting, Spirit-empowered life. Why? Because you are protecting the unity of the Spirit. As far as it depends upon you, you strive to protect, honor, and live in light of the peace provided through the Spirit between you and other Christians.

To best understand this, let me explain it from the perspective of the bond of peace and then endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit.

The Bond of Peace Comes from Christ.

When Paul challenges the follower of Christ to endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, the question becomes, “What is the bond of peace?” I am glad you asked. The actual answer provides incredible context to this entire passage.

The bond of peace is that peace that is provided for between believers by Jesus through the cross. Notice how Paul describes it earlier in the Book of Ephesians:

14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, 15 having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, 16 and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. 17 And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. 18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father. (Eph 2:14-18)

Christ provided peace between individual followers of Christ and between God and all followers of Christ. On the cross Jesus broke down all barriers between people and all barriers between us and God. When you consider this, the truth here is incredible.

Let me give you an illustration to help you get this. I remember when we first moved to the country. All the lots in our country neighborhood were a little less than one acre. The way our house was situated, you could walk out on our back deck and see for a long distance. All the acre lots came together in a way that there were five other lots that bordered our own. From our back deck then, we had a sense that we lived on quite a bit more land than what we actually did. In fact, our children and dogs, like every one else’s who lived in this area, could roam between the houses. It was simply delightful. Until one day.

One of those neighbors changed. A stranger moved into our closely knit group. And with the neighbors – gasp for air – a wooden fence. This new neighbor built a fence! Where once all of us could see across quite a bit of land, all of us could feel the greatness of the spance, and all of us could enjoy wandering over multiple lots, now it had all changed. Our neighbor built a fence.

What does a fence do? It separates. It keeps one person on the outside and another person on the inside. Where once nothing separated us all, now there was separation.

In this illustration, the fence was the separation between people prior to Jesus dying on the cross. Between neighbors there was a spiritual separation. As individual sinners our sinful disposition and sinful behavior separated us as the law pointed out.

But when Jesus died on the cross, what separated people came down. Instead of separation, we enjoy peace. Where there once was enmity, now we celebrate the peace we have together in Christ. As followers of Christ, all the barriers between us have come down. We experience peace in Christ together.

That is not all we experience though, we also experience peace with God. Christ did not just provide us peace as neighbors; He also provided peace between all of us neighbors and God. Therefore, you experience peace with God and your neighbor in Christ.

How valuable is this peace? It cost Jesus His very life to provide it. Arguably, it is the most expensive thing you will ever possess in this life or the next. The peace you enjoy with God and your neighbor cost the most ultimate amount – the life of Jesus. The peace you experience is priceless.

Endeavoring to Keep the Unity of the Spirit

Paul explains that we posses Christ Who is our peace. All barriers between God, our neighbors, and ourselves are broken down. We enjoy unity.

What do we do with it? Paul exclaims, we endeavor to keep it. In other words, we do our very best – make our best effort – put everything we have into protecting the unity of the Spirit. We make every effort to protect this priceless gift from God to us, that is, our peace.

When you endeavor to do something, that means that you try your best to achieve something. You put in your best effort and pour in all your energy to accomplish this goal. The goal is not to create peace because Jesus has already provided peace between neighbors and with God. Instead, the goal  is to protect the peace. In other words, live in such a way that by your lifestyle and attitude you protect the priceless peace Jesus provided.

The Importance of Unity

How important is unity then for the Christian? Consider the next three verses in this text:

4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Eph 4:4-6)

Seven times the word one is used. One body (the body of Christ), One Spirit (the Holy Spirit), One hope of your calling (salvation leading to sanctification), One Lord (Jesus Christ), One faith (the core of our beliefs once delivered to the saints through the Word of God), One baptism (the baptism of the Spirit), One God and Father of all (God the Father). What does all this mean? It means the unity that we each have in Christ is valuable; therefore, it must be protected.

Reflection Questions

  • How much value do you place on the peace you have with God and between those who are in Christ?
  • What do you do to protect the peace between you and others who are also in Christ?
  • Do you both formally and functionally recognize the most precious gift you have ever received is peace with God and peace with your neighbor? If so, what do you do to protect it?

The Challenge: Walk Worthy of Your Calling in Christ

In the midst of life’s many challenges, followers of Christ effectively choose how they will respond. God’s goal remains the same no matter what the pressure is in life – to live a God-honoring life that is consistent with the Gospel. In an earlier chapter, I referred to this as a balanced lifestyle. They key passage that describes this kind of living is Ephesians 4:1-6.

1I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

In this text the call to walk worthy means to walk in balance. Essentially there are two sides of the equation: your calling and your walk. “Your calling” refers to the first half of Ephesians where Paul explains the Gospel. He basically breaks the Gospel message down into three main categories: 1) The Gospel Call – Salvation (Eph 2:1-10), 2) The Gospel Context – the Body of Christ (Eph 2:11-22), and 3) The Gospel Capacity – the Power of the Spirit (Eph 3:20-21; cf. Eph 1:19-23).

Therefore, the effort to live in balance begins by understanding the significance of the call of the Gospel in one’s life. God provided for salvation unto sanctification, provided the people of God in which the process of sanctification is lived out together in peace, and provided the power of the Holy Spirit which makes it all possible. This is true for every follower of Christ. God put you on the path of growth (salvation to sanctification), placed you where growth is possible (the people of God), and gave you the power to become more like Christ (the power of the Spirit). These three senses of the Gospel capture the situation of every person who enjoys a relationship with Christ. This is “the calling” to which Paul refers.

The other side of balance depends upon you. Paul refers to that side as “walking.” In other words, this relates to how you live each day. What do you do with the realities of the Gospel in daily living? You have been given a process, a people, and the power to live up to God’s standards, now how do you walk in relationship to these realities? This is where we are challenged to walk consistent, live in balance, or otherwise live a God-honoring life which represents all He has done for us and continues to do for us (cf., Eph 1-3).

Five Key Characteristics of Walking Worthy

We live out the call of God in our lives with all humility and gentleness, patience, forbearance, and protecting the unity of the Spirit.

Humility basically means that you see God and others as more important than yourself. You take on a lowly position. You hold God’s concerns and others’ concerns as greater. Jesus, of course, is the perfect example of humility (cf. Phil 2:1-11). Pride and humility are in opposition to each other. Everything pride is, humility isn’t; and the same would be true the other way, everything humility is, pride isn’t.

Gentleness refers to meekness and is part of the fruit of the Spirit (cf., Gal 5:23). Gentleness basically means one’s strength or power under control, self-control. The gentle person exhibits a gentleness of attitude and behavior instead of any kind of harshness. As a fruit of the Spirit, you essentially take on the tender heart of Christ toward others. A gentle person intentionally cares about how he or she interacts with others.

Patience describes a person who has a long fuse. When something happens that would normally result in anger, the person exhibiting patience has a long fuse before getting angry, is slow to anger, or is longsuffering. In the Bible, God is known as slow to anger (cf., Ex 34:6). As a fruit of the Spirit, the Spirit provides you the ability to respond slowly to any kind of provocation. In this particular context, Paul stresses patience as it primarily relates to the sins of others.

Forbearance relates to a general sense of putting up with one another in love. Of these five characteristics, this is the hardest one to clearly articulate in one word. In fact, the Greek word behind the English forbearing one another is also translated endurance with each other, putting up with one another, bearing with one another, showing tolerance for one another, and the list goes on. In many ways, it is an extension of patience; however, it does not primarily relate to sin, this term relates to preferences. In other words, forbearance governs how we handle people in love who differ from our own preferences.

Keeping the unity of the Spirit captures your total effort at living with each other in Christ. As far as it depends upon you, you strive to protect, honor, and live in light of the peace provided through the Spirit between you and other Christians. The unity of the Spirit is that bond of peace provided for between believers by Jesus through the cross (cf., Eph 2:14-18). What do we do with this peace? Paul exclaims, we endeavor to keep it. In other words, we do our very best – make our best effort – put everything we have into protecting the unity of the Spirit. We make every effort to protect this priceless gift from God to us, that is, our peace.

The Application or Look: Christlikeness

When you choose to live consistent with the Gospel – that is, you choose humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and protecting the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace – what does this kind of living look like? What does it sound like? How is it applied?

As I mentioned in a previous chapter, you can imagine these five key characteristics as stair steps toward Christlikeness.

Without humility, gentleness is difficult to maintain.

A commitment to gentleness helps produce patience when sinned against.

Without patience, forbearance is almost impossible.

Protecting the unity of the Spirit only happens when you have done all of these.

As you deal with another person, each of these characteristics work together to produce balance or walking consistent with the Gospel. This is Paul’s goal for you – to walk worthy of the Gospel. Each step built on the step before it seeking to honor the Lord in the way one sees and engages the other.

Walking Worthy of the Gospel

Paul captures the various ways this plays out in our lives throughout the rest of Ephesians (Eph 4-6) Notice these key themes:

  • Walk Worthy – as Christians who work together speaking the truth in love to each other as we grow in Christ together (Eph 4:1-16).
  • Walk Consistently – not as those who do not know the Lord but as those who have experienced inner man change who can now put off attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors which do not honor the Lord and put on attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors which do (Eph 4:17-32).
  • Walk in Love – as imitators of God as dear children, we choose to love each other the way Christ has sacrificially and selflessly loved us (Eph 5:1-7).
  • Walk in Light – as those who have received the light of Christ, we are to live to walk in that light rather than walk in darkness (Eph 5:8-14).
  • Walk Carefully – we examine every step as followers of Christ seeking to walk wisely, understanding God’s will, and in the Spirit. When we do, it impacts our marriages, families, and vocations (Eph 5:15-6:9).

How are all of these things possible? When we engage our hearts in the battle every day against our flesh and those things which would distract us from God’s best through prayer as we seek to stand as Christians (Eph 6:10-20). It comes full circle. When we recognize what God has done for us and provides for us through Christ, appropriately dwell on those things, and apply them to daily living, we can stand by God’s grace against evil inside us and in our evil world.

This impacts our attitudes, thoughts, and actions both as we respond to these things in our inner man and as we engage those around us through our outer man.

Therefore, it should not surprise you when your marriage is stronger, your relationships with others more fruitful, your vocation more rewarding, and your walk with Christ sweeter.

Reflection Questions

  • How often do you apply the realities of the Gospel to your daily living?
  • In what areas of the five key characteristics do you need further work? Start on the lower steps and move up toward Christlikeness.
  • Regarding what you do and what you say, do you walk worthy? Consistently? Lovingly? As light? and Carefully in the Spirit?