Bitterness fortunately does not have to rule your life.
As we have noticed in both parts one and two, bitterness complicates life. In fact, it radically distorts the way the embittered person interprets his or her relationships, circumstances, and God. Think through this illustration with me. When you have a water bottle sitting in the car all day, what temperature will the water be? The water temperature reflects the temperature of the car. On a hot day, it is hot; on a cold day, it is cold. The same phenomena happens with bitterness. The heart becomes the context through which you view and engage all aspects of your life. Therefore, when embittered, your viewpoint reflects the temperature of the heart. If you were content, likewise, your viewpoint would reflect that as well.
In the story of Ruth, we noticed so far that Naomi’s interpretation of her life reflected the bitterness in her heart. She reasoned that God had inflicted her. She was so convinced that she asked for people to call her Mara (which means bitter) rather than Naomi (which means blessed).
Thankfully, as will be discussed today, she does not stay here. She both recognizes God’s care in a particular moment and then steps out by faith to trust God again.
Overcoming Bitterness
If you know someone who has been bitter or it is/has been a problem in your own life, then you know there is no one step of overcoming bitterness. Instead, overcoming bitterness is a process. In fact, wouldn’t it be nice if it were simply a decision you could make or simply one prayer you could pray? Unfortunately, of course, it is not.
Where then do you start the process of overcoming bitterness?
In Naomi’s story, you can see the first step toward
Naomi Sends Ruth to Boaz
The first step forward it a step of faith. She chose to trust God and His plan as it relates to her future. Since Boaz was a near-relative which could function as a kinsmen-redeemer, Naomi sends Ruth to him to see what may take place.
In Israel, when a man would die and leave a widow without a male child, the law provided for the nearest kinsmen to take her in under his protection to provide for her. Without any governmental support system or welfare, she would be left on her own. A male son would both carry on the family name, keep the property in the family’s name, and be able to work to support the widow. Until that age of maturity, the near-relative would then provide for her. Often it might be a brother. In the case of Elimelech (Naomi’s husband), evidently he did not have a brother who could help. Of course both Naomi’s sons had died so there was no one in the immediate family who could help either. Evidently, Boaz was one of the closest who could if he desired.
Remember what Naomi had said upon arrival back at Bethlehem.
20 But she said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?” (Ruth 1:20-21)
The same Naomi who had determined that God dealt bitterly with her, had testified against her, and afflicted her, she sent Naomi in a decision by faith to see if God would grant them a secure future through Boaz.
Boaz Goes to the City Gate
The Bible records that Boaz immediately the next morning goes to the city gate to wait for the other relative that was closer in line and who had the right to be the kinsmen-redeemer. Upon seeing him, Boaz asks to talk with him at the gate. The man agrees and they get ten witnesses to listen to the conversation. Boaz explains Naomi’s problem and suggests he needs to become the redeemer. He agrees.
Then Boaz lets him know that he will also have to take in Ruth, the Moabite, as Mahlon’s wife and try to provide her a male child in order to provide for them an inheritance and someone to take care of them. The nearest relative immediately changed his position and said no to the deal. He was not interested if he had to also tie up his own inheritance for his children with Naomi, Ruth, and other future children. The other man offered it to Boaz as the other near-relative.
Boaz immediately accepts the offer. The Bible records it this way:
8 Therefore the close relative said to Boaz, “Buy it for yourself.” So he took off his sandal. 9 And Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought all that was Elimelech’s, and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, from the hand of Naomi. 10 Moreover, Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have acquired as my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead through his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brethren and from his position at the gate. You are witnesses this day.”
11 And all the people who were at the gate, and the elders, said, “We are witnesses. The Lord make the woman who is coming to your house like Rachel and Leah, the two who built the house of Israel; and may you prosper in Ephrathah and be famous in Bethlehem. 12 May your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring which the Lord will give you from this young woman.” (Ruth 4:8-12)
God indeed did provide for them through Boaz. Further, the reaction to the people in their wish-prayer is exciting as well. They prayed that God would bless this new marriage in the greatest and most profound ways. They prayed for God to bless the house to be famous in Bethlehem.
Naomi’s Step of Faith and First Step out of Bitterness
Essentially, Naomi’s first step out of bitterness was her first step of faith. She began to see her own poor theology. She transitioned from seeing God as against her to seeing God in light of what is true. God worked for her, was faithful to her, and continued to provide for her. Naomi understood that God had used both Ruth and Boaz over the months since their return to Bethlehem to provide for her. God providentially worked through Ruth’s choice of field and Boaz’s heart for her to provide.
Naomi’s observation of God’s faithfulness and step of faith to send Ruth begins her climb out of her bitterness.
The Bigger Reason to Forsake Bitterness
The hero of this story is not Boaz or Ruth. The real hero of this story is God. God demonstrates that He is always covenant faithful to His followers and provides for them in amazing ways consistent with His promises.
As the covenant faithful God, He provided for Naomi – even when she refused to see it.
God provided for Ruth through Naomi. She not only saw it but also walked in faith in light of it.
But guess what, God provided for Israel as well. And not just Israel, but us. Check out how this story ends:
13 So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. 14 Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! 15 And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.” 16 Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her bosom, and became a nurse to him. 17 Also the neighbor women gave him a name, saying, “There is a son born to Naomi.” And they called his name Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David. (Ruth 4:13-17)
Did you catch it?
Boaz and Ruth’s son is Obed. Obed is the father of Jesse. Jesse is the father of David – the King of Israel and ultimately in whose line Jesus Christ comes as the ultimate King.
Covenant faithfulness demonstrated through God’s providence. God blesses all of us through His gracious providence as He works in and around us.
Why and how should we forsake bitterness? How did Naomi help?
Naomi experienced and observed God’s providential covenant faithfulness. God’s care was better and more efficient than she even realized. God not only protected her and Ruth but provided for a nation which then impacted the world. What started with a simple action of faith and trust in God’s character turned into great faith as she took care of Obed. As long as Naomi focused on her circumstances and loss rather than all the evidence of God’s grace in and around her life, she would struggle with bitterness.
We observe it as well. When we look at God’s character and His work, we take our focus off of ourselves and place them on God. As we do, we can live above the misery and bitterness of our own tough circumstances and pressures. Instead, we can graciously praise God for His kindness in Christ toward us, His faithfulness, and His grace. When we keep our focus here, we can begin to make simple steps by faith. Those simple steps grow gratitude and confidence in the covenant faithfulness of God in Christ.
The first step? Trust in God’s providential care and control. The result over time? Bitterness can be overcome by God’s grace.
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KevinCarson.com | Wisdom for Life in Christ Together
