Gentleness.

The second key characteristic of authentic Christianity is an often-misunderstood one. Most people – men especially – do not stand around celebrating gentility. Being gentle fails to catch most people’s list of life goals. Yet, Paul includes it in his top five characteristics of living consistent with the Gospel.

In this mini-series, I explain the foundational challenge of living as a Christian and explore the five key attitudes that go along with it. In the first article, we discussed balance together. Not just any kind of balance, but a special balance: the responsibility we have as Christians to balance God’s call on us (as indicated through the three senses of the Gospel) and our walk or lifestyle. In subsequent articles, we look at each of these five key characteristics of a gospel-consistent lifestyle.

The challenge for each of us is to walk consistent with the wonderful realities of the Gospel. Yet, God enables us to do this, which is the blessing. Although God graciously gives us a challenge, He also provides the ability to live up to that challenge.

Living consistent with the Gospel requires five key attitudes in order to glorify God. Today is the second: gentleness.

Five Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Gentleness

As you consider each of these five key characteristics of walking with Christ, think in terms of a staircase. Unless you begin at the first step, it is impossible to get to the rest of the corresponding steps. The first step is humility, and the second is gentleness.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)

Gentleness refers to meekness and is part of the fruit of the Spirit (cf., Gal 5:23). Gentleness basically means one’s strength or power under control, self-control. The gentle person exhibits a gentleness of attitude and behavior instead of any kind of harshness. I like to use this simple definition, “As you touch other people in interaction with them, you fail to leave any marks.” You treat people even better than you would treat your family’s antique fine china. In the Bible, both Jesus and Moses were considered gentle (cf., Matt 21:5; Num 12:3). Paul describes himself as gentle too (cf., 2 Cor 10:1). As a fruit of the Spirit, you essentially take on the tender heart of Christ toward others.

Gentleness is the opposite of harshness.

A gentle person intentionally cares about how he or she interacts with others. In the process of any kind of engagement or handling any matter, the gentle person strives not to leave any mark. As it relates to people, a gentle person exhibits kindness, a tenderness driven by compassion, and chooses restraint. Although a gentle person has the power to use his or her strength of character, physical strength, emotion, or personality to its fullest, he or she chooses to keep it under control.

You can often check your attitude or tongue to see whether or not you are gentle. Often harshness shows up in these two areas whenever it exists.

Referring to the staircase illustration above, humility is often paired with humility. In fact, in this text, Paul writes, “In all humility and gentleness.” They are connected within the same prepositional phrase. As mentioned above, the only pathway to gentleness is first through humility. You must think more of God and others than yourself if you are going to be intentional about keeping your power under control as you engage others.

 

More In This Series

Balance: More than Just Merely a Goal or Good Idea
5 Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Humility
5 Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Patience
5 Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Forbearance
5 Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: Unity of the Spirit
5 Key Characteristics of Walking with Christ: The Application – Living Like Christ

A parable of gentleness…

I heard Paul Tripp give this illustration years ago in class with his children. For the sake of making it my own, I’ll use my children as well.

Imagine when my youngest son was just four. His older siblings were 11, 13, and 15.

I give them the same assignment: go outside and pick your mom some flowers.

They each will bring in their assortment for their mom. My oldest would have a beautiful set of flowers for his mother. My daughter would also have a beautiful set of flowers with careful attention given to the colors. My other son would give something to his mother that demonstrates his incredible creativity.

Now the youngest. He would bring back something for his mother as well. Instead of beautiful arrangements, his offering to his mother may have to be floated instead of stood in a vase.

Why the difference?

All of them have the same set of flowers to choose from, the same tools, and the same desire to honor their mother. However, the difference between the older three and the youngest is the ability to use their hands gently. He has not learned power under control yet.

Understanding gentleness…

Jesus invites us to both come to Him and learn from Him. Learn what? Gentleness no doubt.

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

He invites us to come and learn; He describes Himself as gentle.

What does gentleness look like? Gentleness…

  • …takes sin seriously (2 Tim 2:24-26; cf., Matt 21:12-13).
  • …characterizes restoration in humility (Gal 6:2).
  • …helps resolve conflict with others (Tit 3:2).
  • …provides the path to give hope to others (1 Pet 3:15).
  • …demonstrates the wise person (James 3:17).
  • …exhibits the work of the Spirit in a person’s life (Gal 5:22-23).

Essentially anything a Christian does with others related to simply living life, including all issues related to sin and suffering, should reflect a gentle spirit. Based upon our love of Christ and others, we move toward people with a sense of tenderness, care, and concern. We listen. We learn. In the process, we demonstrate God’s care as we do our own.

Reflection Questions

  • How do you view gentleness? It is a quality that you desire or want to pursue?
  • Thinking through your recent conflicts and engagement with others, would those you engaged describe you as gentle? Would they report you were careful to care for them as Christ?
  • When you interact with others, do you pay attention to how you are perceived? What do their perceptions say about possible issues of your heart?








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